Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Mr Floppy

Mr Floppy

By rachiej8 - 10/06/2012 04:13 - United States - Fairlee

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML

agreeclassic 37 098

vote type 1 5 549

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

You've tried this before, right?

By xxxzzzooo - 02/01/2010 17:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML

agreeclassic 25 590

vote type 1 3 811

By Anonymous - 10/03/2012 07:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

agreeclassic 27 088

vote type 1 59 390

By katie - 23/08/2019 06:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

agreeclassic 1 894

vote type 1 4 104

By bad in the sack - 05/07/2014 04:26 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML

agreeclassic 55 194

vote type 1 11 473

Giggle loop

By Anonymous - 18/03/2010 10:39 - United States

Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML

agreeclassic 17 376

vote type 1 38 365

By Patricia - 01/10/2011 23:30 - United States

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML

agreeclassic 45 618

vote type 1 5 731

Waste

By Annie - 31/08/2011 03:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML

agreeclassic 36 856

vote type 1 5 313

Hard to believe

By Anonymous - 02/01/2020 18:00

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML

agreeclassic 4 430

vote type 1 590

Noobs

By Blueberrypicc - 13/08/2010 01:01 - United States

Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML

agreeclassic 33 371

vote type 1 38 150

By Confused - 22/08/2012 16:33 - Spain - Madrid

Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML

agreeclassic 33 830

vote type 1 4 434

Pinkfl0yd 9

Sunday 10 June 2012 12:29

Doesn't matter; had snacks!

ThatGuyRory 9

Sunday 10 June 2012 12:25

Ice Cream makes everything better.

Comments

disabledhuman 2

Tuesday 6 December 2016 8:14

Really now? Come on folks. That guy wanted to impress his lady and masturbated 30 minutes prior. This is neither sad or amusing. It's not a fml. It's lame and ordinary. Grow up OP and stop seeking satisfaction from others virtually.