Well you have two options now. 1) divorce him, because I can only imagine what else he has said to you or the stepdaughter over the years,and he doesn’t consider your view at all when it comes to your stepdaughter, or 2) listen to him and butt out as he told you to. Me, I’m option 1, before I married my wife and blended our families, all the kids involved knew that each of us are to,be considered a parent to them and listened to.

That's considered abusive behavior & his daughter will definitely grow up to resent him and go no contact. you should definitely consider divorce because things are only going to get worse. and you should probably consider calling child protective services for your step daughter's sake!

That sounds incredibly harsh and heartbreaking. I’m really sorry you had to witness that, especially being spoken to that way. You deserved to be heard and respected.