FML's Showdown #11 By Louis - 31/05/2017 17:25 Another chance for you to pick your winner of the week. So, who does it for you? I agree, your life sucks 469 You deserved it 134 Share Tweet Share
Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML I agree, your life sucks 42 059 You deserved it 287 691
Today, I hooked up with a man for the first time since my divorce. The sex was mind-blowing. His pillow talk then began with something like, “A cabal of Hollywood celebrities and political insiders want to rape your children…” I’m so dry now, I think I hit menopause. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 927 You deserved it 402
Today, I had to get stitches in my vagina due to an unfortunate mishap while climbing a fence. FML I agree, your life sucks 36 231 You deserved it 5 556
Today, at my wedding, my husband stood up to give a speech. It started out beautiful, until he told everyone how he started to fall in love with me after I blew him on our first date. FML I agree, your life sucks 61 456 You deserved it 15 348
Today, my mom asked me when I'm going to propose to my girlfriend. Not only was she in the room at the time, I've spent the whole week thinking of ways to break up with her without ending up in the hospital. 5ML I agree, your life sucks 48 784 You deserved it 5 418
Today, after months of exercise and diets and finally reaching my ideal weight, I told my morbidly obese cousin about my success, hoping to motivate him to do the same. He replied, "Why would it matter, you're still ugly." FML I agree, your life sucks 51 403 You deserved it 5 806
Today, trying to be a good co-parent, I asked my ex if he’d like to go to the circus with our kids and I. His new girlfriend of a whopping five days said it made her uncomfortable. He stood us up. FML I agree, your life sucks 2 198 You deserved it 195
Today, my parents lectured me about how my girlfriend will ruin my life, because she's a single mom, a recovering alcoholic, and has chronic health issues. Apparently, I should be with their friend's rude, trashy daughter, who can't keep a job, and goes on a drunken, drug-fueled bender every other week. I'm 31. FML I agree, your life sucks 968 You deserved it 189
Trevor
Trevor.