Don't Touch My Fries By FML Approved - 22/10/2017 04:00 These aren't beetles... This is Sparta! I agree, your life sucks 471 You deserved it 123 Share Tweet Share
Today, I was invited over by my girlfriend's parents, but I couldn't bring myself to take part in their discussions. During a lull in conversation, I noticed everyone was staring at me. Covering myself while I tried to think of something to say, I grabbed an apple and took a bite. It was plastic. FML I agree, your life sucks 32 577 You deserved it 9 857
Today, my boyfriend wanted to prove how honest he is so he showed me numerous texts in his phone where he told other women he was in a relationship before asking them to sleep with him. FML I agree, your life sucks 35 637 You deserved it 3 366
Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML I agree, your life sucks 430 You deserved it 118
Today, I was watching TV when the Jim Beam commercial came on with the hot girl saying how she likes her men fat and hairy. My mom walked in and said, "See honey, you still have a chance." FML I agree, your life sucks 42 595 You deserved it 4 998
Today, I was working at IHOP serving a table full of drunk idiots. After an hour of taking care of them I went to clean up their mess to find the tip they had left me. On a napkin a girl had wrote "Here's your tip for the night: Don't play leap frog with unicorns." FML I agree, your life sucks 34 396 You deserved it 3 223
Today, my wife broke the TV during an argument with her mother, but it’s my fault because I "put the TV in such a stupid place" so I should pay for a new one. Anyone know any good divorce lawyers? Stick the number in the comments, I’m so done with her bullshit and her crazy family of assholes. FML I agree, your life sucks 712 You deserved it 155