Dog Jump Fail By FML Approved - 18/10/2017 15:10 - United States - New York Practice doesn't always make perfect! I agree, your life sucks 434 You deserved it 110 Share Tweet Share
Today, I shaved half my eyebrow off trying to shave my uni-brow. FML I agree, your life sucks 18 385 You deserved it 31 602
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML I agree, your life sucks 55 563 You deserved it 11 526
Today, I procrastinated so much on asking out the guy I like that this morning I had to wish him a happy first wedding anniversary. Yes, I procrastinated so much that he had time to date someone else, get engaged and married, and make it to the first anniversary, and I still love him. God I’m pathetic. FML I agree, your life sucks 136 You deserved it 856
Today, I finally had someone else touch my man parts. It was my doctor, checking for testicular cancer and a hernia, as part of my yearly physical. He's the only person other than myself to touch my junk in the last 4 years. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 166 You deserved it 232
Today, my sister was crying to me about how her boyfriend never showed up for their date. He's done this many times before, so I suggested the fact that maybe he'd just ditched her. She said that was ridiculous, because, "He's Canadian" and according to her, "They don't lie." FML I agree, your life sucks 49 394 You deserved it 5 409
Today, I recently got out of hospital after suffering a bad head injury. My doctor warned me I might have localised skin numbness, and it turns out I do. In my penis. Can’t feel a thing down there. We discovered this in bed, where nothing could get a rise out of me because it was completely dead. FML I agree, your life sucks 2 261 You deserved it 182