Crystal Ball Cat - FML

Crystal Ball Cat

By FML Approved - 31/10/2017 03:00

Now stop trying to touch my belly and just go away!

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 128

Back to school: Courses and confusion
When the campus comes back to life, anecdotes abound between the lecture halls and student parties! More…

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Keywords

My ex Cheating Awkward Pregnancy Love Mysterious LGBTQIA+ Clothes Miscellaneous Cooking Fire Gross Smells Animals Embarrassing Dogs Cute Transportation Airport Suspicious Weird Singing Work Relatable Scary Creepy Plumbing Confused Health Healthy Lifestyle

The Top

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunderstorm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 008

You deserved it 252 155

Today, I was at work when a customer, who was going to pay for her groceries, started sorting through her money. She put some coins in her mouth, seemed to suck on them for a while, and then gave them to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 895

You deserved it 2 003

Random

Today, I called the cops on this guy who kept emailing me without revealing who he was. I had told him that if he emailed me again, I would call the cops, so I did. Turns out it was my roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 072

You deserved it 2 734

Today, I was notified I'm being discharged after 2 weeks because my employers don't have the time to train me at my first real job in 6 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 131

You deserved it 1 968

Today, my brother came out to our family as being gay. My mother starting crying because she "wanted grandchildren." I told her that I was planning on having children. She started crying harder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 124

You deserved it 4 380

Today, I asked my mom if she'd seen my financial calculator on my way out to an exam. She told me she'd tossed it in the donation pile that she'd taken to the Salvation Army this morning because it was "clutter." I needed it to take an exam required to pass the class, to graduate next month. The only place to buy a replacement was closed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 574

You deserved it 233

Today, I was in a rush to get my lunch for work. I quickly opened my fridge to grab it, and accidentally knocked over a beer, spilling a little on my pants. I told myself I'd spray them in the car. I forgot, and when I got into work, someone sat down and commented that they smelled beer. The person was a student. FML

I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 253

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a good time. Perfect. Afterwards, he stupidly tried to pull the condom off with way too much force. It burst everywhere, splattering our faces, the bed sheets, and even the wall. Absolute disaster. We just stared at each other and laughed. Never again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 188

You deserved it 86