Love Are you OK? - FML

Are you OK?

unicorn - 12/06/2009 16:49 - United States

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

kat - 21/02/2012 09:53 - Reserved

Today, a client stared at me in disbelief after I mentioned that I had a boyfriend. FML

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shastadoe - 06/08/2012 06:37 - United States - Los Banos

Today, my boyfriend told me he was a vampire. I burst out in laughter and said he was ridiculous. He looked at me in disgust and said he couldn't be with someone who didn't trust and believe in him. I'm now single. FML

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NocturnalFox - 25/08/2015 19:46 - Czech Republic - Plzen

Today, I went on a first date with my crush. Right before the date, I noticed a monstrous pimple in the middle of my forehead. I covered it with make-up, but it was still visible. The guy spent the whole evening laughing at me and telling me that I look like an unicorn. FML

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Never again

Catsfordays - 20/08/2015 06:02 - United States - Yucaipa

Today, I went on a date with someone I considered a real catch, my potential soulmate even. He ended up telling me about his fetish for "female smells", sang loudly in Italian in a crowded restaurant, and ate most of the food on my plate. Man, fuck dating. FML

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Anonymous - 24/08/2014 04:14 - United States

Today, a guy took me out on a date. His imaginary friends joined us. FML

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unicorn - 13/09/2011 21:21 - United States

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

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Tonight, on First Dates…

Anonymous - 19/03/2023 22:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really liked. He spent the whole time talking about his pet iguana and how it's the love of his life. FML

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Another one?

Anonymous - 27/04/2012 15:24 - United States

Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML

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Sounds like a keeper

Rae - 30/03/2023 10:00

Today, I went on a date with a guy who seemed really nice. However, halfway through the date, he started talking about how he was a flat-earther, and believed that the moon landing was faked. Oh, and that birds aren't real. I had to endure another hour of his conspiracy theories before I could finally escape. FML

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Red flag

Ugly - 06/03/2022 06:00

Today, I went to a wedding with my boyfriend. He became moonstruck with one my friends and said she looked sexy in her dress. The whole night, I was nonexistent to him. He’s now confused as to why I’m giving him the silent treatment. He literally has no clue. FML

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jorvid 0

Friday 12 June 2009 23:17

First of all unicorns is real, and you should be grateful that the unicorn even thought you were worthy of a compliment, you ****!

24788 6

Friday 12 June 2009 23:16

What's wrong with having imaginary friends that you talk to?

imthecoolest 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 9:02

ah shiz, i just heard a really creepy noise in my house and i'm practically home alone. i'm scared. fml.

Heathersaur 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 19:01

LMFAO thats amazing xD

KillinRage 0

Monday 29 June 2009 3:25

lmao #36

punk_funk_chick 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 6:59

Ok, well thats weird. Lets look on the bright side, at least he thinks you're pretty.

CAITx4OH1xCORE 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 23:51

Lol. I wanna date a guy like that. :P. Knowing me, I'd probably find it hot. But only pull off.....able......if he was gorgeous as hell. XD.

Carly930 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 8:59

Hahaha, God. That made me laugh out loud. Priceless. :)

Poet_Sin 0

Monday 3 August 2009 3:09

I already know I'm weird, but... I think it's cute. ^_^

shaZamy 0

Monday 3 August 2009 7:48

and they think you are pretty

bubblybrooke 12

Tuesday 4 August 2009 6:33

sounds sexy ;) unicorns are awesome FTW :) but seriously...if you don't want him anymore, can I have him? :D

Neferria 0

Friday 7 August 2009 19:33

Did you ask your boyfriend if he saw Neil Patrick Harris on the unicorn?

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, after our Christmas plans got cancelled because of COVID, to make ourselves feel better we made travel plans somewhere else, which also turned into a red zone the night before our departure, we are now going out for breakfast as our highlight of the year. Thankfully they are open. FML

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Today, my mother-in-law showed up unexpectedly, made passive aggressive comments to my kids in front of me about how we need a bigger place to live, and asked questions about our income. We're actually trying to move soon, and just hadn't told them yet so they wouldn't try to follow us. FML

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At least he's honest!

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Today, it's now the third week my boyfriend's best friend has been sleeping on our bedroom floor because he doesn't want to face the consequences of his actions back at his parents' place. My boyfriend sees no problem with this, and says he can stay and live off us as long as he wants. FML

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Today, my grandmother - who has been a heavy smoker for almost forty years, and does not believe in the dangers of smoking - was diagnosed with COPD. Also, I'm now at a greater risk of developing COPD because of her (and my parents, who also smoke). FML

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Today, while getting ready for work, I realized that all my pants were getting a bit tight. When I got home from work, I went in to the bathroom and stood on the scale, which confirmed that I have gained a few pounds. I then realized that I was eating while standing on the scale. FML

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