All you need is hate By MyEyesAreOpen - 01/07/2017 04:00 Today, I got a positive take-home message from my failed relationship. He gave me great advice about changing my cell phone carrier. FML agreeclassic 3 531 vote type 1 311 Share Tweet Share
Today, I received the most comments and likes on a Facebook post for years. What exciting thing had happened in my life? Well, I bought a glow-in-the-dark plant. FML agreeclassic 658 vote type 1 162
Today, I brought several bags of soda cans to the store to cash in. I hadn't shaved, and my coat had fur all over from my cat rubbing on it. The lady in front of me turned around, looked at my bags and me and said, "It's a lot of money people throw away, isn't it?" Apparently, I look homeless. FML agreeclassic 12 824 vote type 1 22 493
Today, I went out with two new friends. While we were talking, they said that their mother had called them to go home. Later on, I saw them in the main square, hanging out. I wasn't creepy or disrespectful, and I don't know why they did it. FML agreeclassic 1 045 vote type 1 132
Today, after my girlfriend had a nightmare this morning, I stayed home because she has really bad anxiety issues. A couple of hours later, she's pissed because I said I would stay up, but I fell asleep. FML agreeclassic 914 vote type 1 237
Today, I attempted to fix the annoying squeak my office chair has been making with WD-40. I turned it upside down, but misjudged the intensity of the spray, spraying it on my laptop keyboard. Now my “S” key is smoother than ever, but I can’t type the word “stress” without it sounding like a snake. FML agreeclassic 133 vote type 1 370
Today, a few people in my class used calculators on the math final exam, even though it clearly stated at the top that they weren't allowed. The teacher found out, and now everyone has to retake the 200-question exam. I didn't even use a calculator. FML agreeclassic 7 754 vote type 1 499
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