Vacation

Holiday blues

By Anonymous - 30/07/2010 06:38 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I went on vacation. We flew 2000 miles, got off the plane, got our bags and stood outside the airport for our ride. She looks at me and says, "I can't do this anymore." So, she broke up with me and flew back home. Now I'm on vacation alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 369

You deserved it 4 041

Lost in translation

By Anonymous - 06/10/2010 08:40 - Vietnam

Today, I'm on holiday in Vietnam, and was wearing a new shirt. In a restaurant, the waitress pointed at my shirt and said something I couldn't understand, so I just smiled and nodded my head. She then gave me a weird look and walked away. Turns out there was a huge spider on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 513

You deserved it 4 924

The stench

By Anonymous - 17/05/2022 14:00

Today, my mom is on vacation and I’m taking care of her pets. I also get to clean the entire house. No, she didn’t ask me to do that. It’s just that I had to hold my breath every time I opened the fridge, and there is no surface clean enough to actually touch, so I simply couldn’t help myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 048

You deserved it 166

Haunted

By Anonymous - 16/07/2022 02:00 - Austria - Roitham

Today, I arrived at the airport with time to spare, only to realize in the middle of security checks that I'd left my phone in the Uber that got me there. I suffer from anxiety and depression, and despite getting my phone back in time to board, I can't enjoy my trip because I'm obsessing over this trivial mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 006

You deserved it 543

Unstable

By Everything Counts - 30/10/2023 04:00 - United States - Alexandria

Today, I'm stressing over travel plans yet again. My wife wants to fly standby but the changes in our plans stress me out so much I would rather spend the money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 105

You really shouldn't have

By ParentsSleepingOnMyCouch - 13/02/2024 09:00 - United States - Renton

Today, I was awakened by knocking on my door, only to find my parents standing there. Turns out, they booked two one-way tickets to visit me from another country. Their plan? I should scrap my upcoming 2-week vacation to hang out because they invested in this trip. Oh, and they didn't book a hotel. I'm 31. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 112

Management for dummies

By hayley8 - 04/06/2022 10:00

Today, it’s the middle of my vacation and I just got a notification saying my time off request was denied. A month earlier, I got the notice saying it was approved. I’m literally 4 states over. I’m not going to have a job when I get back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 221

You deserved it 100

Do not disturb

By Anonymous - 19/06/2021 14:00

Today, I’m camping in the middle of nowhere and my mom wrote me not one, but two emails asking where my car keys are, because she needs to move my car. She apparently did not think to check in the key cabinet first. You know, the one where we keep… keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 111

Happy Holidays!

By Sonotsuave - 30/12/2022 21:00 - United States

Today, I’m in Las Vegas on vacation with my boyfriend and his dad. After staying in his dad’s dirty, dusty, toilet-broken Arizona cabin, we’re now in a cheap, shady, smoke-filled Vegas motel. I’m picking the hotels next time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 875

You deserved it 184

There's no such thing as a coincidence

By Anonymous - 08/11/2021 11:00 - Germany - Dornum

Today, I created a shared album with over a 1000 pictures and videos from a romantic vacation with my girlfriend of 3 months. Later, I got an angry text from my ex. It seems I accidentally added everything to a shared work-related album with my ex, which I didn't realise I had. My ex thinks I did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 717

You deserved it 583

A rock and a hard place

By Anonymous - 08/10/2019 16:02

Today, I got back from a camping trip after being homesick for 3 weeks. I couldn't remember why I had wanted to be away from my family for so long when I signed up for it. When I got home, I remembered. Everyone in my family hates each other. I want to go back to the camping site. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 528

You deserved it 273

Thanks, I hate it

By Anonymous - 26/05/2009 09:18 - Greece

Today, I hired an exterminator to get the roaches out of the house I'm renting. I came back from work and went to my bathroom, noticing that he used the plunger to unclog the toilet after he took a dump. After $150, there was shit all over my floor and plunger, and roaches still in my kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 765

You deserved it 3 836

Merde alors !

By Anonymous - 06/05/2011 19:16 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a long overdue vacation to France with my husband and young daughter. As revenge for an earlier prank, my sister has apparently taught my daughter to swear profusely in French. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 963

You deserved it 9 383

They're all out to get me

By Anonymous - 21/06/2026 12:00 - United States - Rialto

Today, we drove for four days across states. My dad refused to let us go into the amusement park or check into the hotel we'd traveled for. The park is now cashless and he swears that it’s a government conspiracy to monitor and control us. He made us sleep in the car before going home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 69

Fun times

By jfjfjdh - 10/05/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, my friend and I got back from a vacation, for which we both took time off work and coordinated. He didn’t want to do anything besides stay in the cabin and play video games. We went on a half-mile walk and that's about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 140

Hit and trundle

By Anonymous - 04/11/2022 14:00

Today, it was supposed to be my last day of work before flying off on my first foreign holiday in 4 years. Some bastard on an electric scooter ran into me at the bus stop and broke my leg so badly the doctors say I need pins and a metal cage. Waiting for surgery now. So long holiday, maybe next year, eh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 182

You deserved it 111

The odds

By Anonymous - 09/06/2019 16:11

Today, my sister and I were sick of living with each other, so we'd decided to go on separate holidays. I get to my hotel, then an hour later she rocks up to the very same hotel to check in. She'd booked her holiday using a magazine she'd stolen from my room, and ended up in the exact same place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 153

You deserved it 298

Out of the frying pan…

By Anonymous - 08/02/2023 06:00

Today, I took a day off to read a book, but ended up with a headache from staring at a screen all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 662

The Beach Boys

By aligator1009 - 09/05/2012 04:54 - United States

Today, I went to the beach. While I was enjoying the sun, an old man with prosthetic leg and no clothes on sat next to me. He took off his fake leg and put it behind his head. Then he opened his legs revealing his "stuff." I will never unsee this. Ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 201

You deserved it 2 589

Good vacation?

By Yudith - 29/07/2023 10:00 - Canada - London

Today, I returned to work after two weeks of vacation without a working phone. While I was gone, a beloved former colleague died, two Court hearings got postponed because nobody could find the proof the documents were sent to the other party, and half the office went on vacation. Oh yeah, and my grandma died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 160

**** immigration laws

By Non traveller - 10/03/2023 15:00 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, I'm bitterly disappointed in New Zealand Immigration. Two days until our flight to visit my daughter, who I haven't seen in 10 years, and still no visa after a three month wait since I applied. What a waste of 40 thousand bucks for tickets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 331

EMERGENCY

By I Was Going to Quit Anyway - 15/11/2023 14:00 - British Virgin Islands

Today, my boss called me to say that I'm fired because I was "deliberately ignoring" the messages from a head of another department who wanted to contact me regarding some "urgent" (not really) project. I was on "Do not disturb" because it's my vacation, and this SOB is not even my boss anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 101

Obey

By Monica - 02/07/2022 16:00

Today, I was looking forward to languishing on the beach for a few days of a “much needed vacation” when I literally got called back into work on my way to the beach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 152

CBD FML

By Anonymous - 15/03/2022 16:00

Today, I'm planning a long awaited trip to Australia to see family I haven't seen since before the pandemic. I use CBD for pain, and everything I've read contradicts itself. I have no idea if I can take it with me, buy it there, or have to get a prescription or whatever. I guess I'm going to be in pain the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 884

You deserved it 202

Sent from my beach towel

By Anonymous - 07/07/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I meant to send a cheeky “I’m out of the office” reply to my team but instead hit “reply all” on an email chain with my entire company, including my boss, HR, and some clients. The message included a joke about “sleeping through meetings” that was NOT work-appropriate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 660

Funday is canceled

By Anonymous - 04/12/2022 16:00

Today, I’m currently battling a cold that caused me to call into work yesterday and, as of this morning, I’ve also started my period and have the most painful cramps ever. Good thing I have the day off from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 135

Trip of a lifetime

By Anonymous - 02/12/2023 20:00 - Australia

Today, on the last day of our vacation with my boyfriend's family, I'm crying alone under a tree because he refuses to talk to me because I got mad he didn't want to do anything with me, but did those same things with his family. He went out of his way to do all the things I wanted to do, but without me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 598

You deserved it 206

Petrol head

By Anonymous - 06/04/2023 06:00 - Australia

Today, while on a road trip with my friends, we stopped at a gas station to fill up. While I was pumping gas, a gust of wind blew my hat off and it landed in a puddle of gasoline. When I picked it up, my hands were covered in gasoline, so I smelled like a gas station for the rest of the trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 636

You deserved it 226

Naked

By Flora - 30/07/2026 00:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I began my first solo holiday at my family's' lakeside cabin. After an hour of tanning in my fave bikini on the lake beach, I saw that I was alone, got brave enough to take a risk, and took off my bikini so my body could get a full tan. Guess when a family from a nearby cabin chose to also come to the lake for fun… FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 470

Nervous Nelly

By Odnel - 27/07/2013 04:47 - United States - Arlington

Today, my family and I visited my cousins in Virginia. When we arrived, we found that they already had guests over. I've stuttered my whole life, so when they asked me what my name was, I stuttered for several seconds trying to say my name. Everyone burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 223

You deserved it 3 841

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Vacation Gross Awkward Food Health Painful Television TV shows Money Bosses Work Public freakouts Cops Fight Kids Pregnancy My ex Love Confused Relatable Friends I need your advice Questions Smartphone Telephones Motherhood Intimacy NSFW Sex

The Top

Today, I was getting ready for my first date with a boy I really like when my dad insisted on meeting him. My dad is super protective and a cop. He cleaned his gun in front of my date and made it clear he had to be careful with me. My date started to cry when we got to the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 888

You deserved it 6 407

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunderstorm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 009

You deserved it 252 161

Random

Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 233

You deserved it 4 544

Today, I woke up and stumbled over to my window to soak up some morning sunshine. The sunshine was lovely; the sight of my elderly neighbour doing some kind of nude yoga in his backyard certainly was not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 401

You deserved it 6 013

Today, my mother dragged me into Victoria's Secret to get my opinion on some lingerie. Lingerie she'll be using to get into my dad's pants this evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 888

You deserved it 3 749

Today, I took a girl out on a date. We had dinner, we had good conversation, the vibe was excellent, and everything was great. I took her to a bar I frequent after for a couple of drinks to finish the night. She left with some other dude on his motorcycle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 182

You deserved it 137

Today, there's a boy in my high school who is being bullied because he is left-handed. Repeat: HE'S LEFTY. Are you fucking kidding me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 144

Today, it’s extremely hot, so showering and deodorant does fuck all for my odor. I thought I could get away with having my arms pressed to my sides at all times, but instead, a boy I don’t even know physically lifted my arms above my head and loudly declared that I stank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 130