Shoes

Slides are for the beach

By badtoeday - 04/10/2021 05:00

Today, while shopping at a store, my big toe decided that it was deeply infatuated with my shopping cart wheel. So much so, it rammed itself straight into it. It took everything in me not to scream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 780

You deserved it 216

Our soles

By Gregory - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, while shopping for a pair of shoes, I saw a pair I really liked lying around, so I sat down to try them on. Then, a man came up to me and pointed out that they were actually his shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 837

You deserved it 6 643

Oh no…

By Nervous - 02/10/2025 22:00

Today, a woman told me she liked my shoes. My social anxiety peaked so I panicked and said, “You too!” She wasn’t wearing shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 247

You deserved it 146

How can I stay mad at you?

By Anonymous - 28/03/2023 16:00 - United States

Today, I came home to find that my dog had chewed up my brand new, expensive pair of shoes. I was so angry that I yelled at him and he cowered in fear. But then, as I looked at his sad little face, it dawned on me that I was the one in the wrong for getting so upset over something materialistic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 996

Clomping hell

By Anonymous - 25/04/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, one of my roommates bought new cowboy boots. He insists on wearing them indoors. Every morning he paces up and down the linoleum areas of the apartment with the boots on until he absolutely has to go to work, waking us up with the clomping noises. I and my other roommate work night and graveyard shifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 102

Custom job

By Anonymous - 13/03/2025 12:00 - United States - Thousand Oaks

Today, my toddler threw up on my one week old pair of white shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 225

The customer is almost always annoying

By minimoonpie - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I was serving an incredibly rude woman at work. The ladder I had used to get her two pairs of shoes came crashing down, and hit my face and neck. She only bought one pair, and ten minutes later returned them after, complaining they were too expensive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 485

You deserved it 2 803

By NOOOOOO - 16/08/2015 23:18 - United States

Today, my only pair of shoes that I brought got stolen at the airport while I was being checked by security. I'm now stuck 1000 miles from home with no shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 190

You deserved it 2 494

By RIP iPhone - 25/02/2017 18:00 - United States

Today, I was using my flashlight app in the driveway to avoid stepping in puddles, as my new shoes are untreated suede. I dropped my phone in the puddle instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 575

You deserved it 2 054

Carrie?

By Lucy - 22/03/2022 06:00

Today, I faked a burglar alarm to see what my sleeping husband would do. The instant he thought a burglar was in the house, I thought he'd yell out for me and come looking. Nope, he yelled out for his limited edition Air Jordans, and ran into his office to check if any were missing. Priorities, I suppose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 1 043

Party girl

By not-so-happy-feet - 14/06/2009 23:41 - Canada

Today, I was at my friend's birthday party, dancing barefoot because my feet hurt from my shoes' heels. Apparently, someone dropped a glass on the dancefloor and didn't warn anybody. I ended up having to drive myself to the emergency room because all my friends were "having too much fun to leave." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 124

You deserved it 6 490

Black out

By Shoeless - 20/01/2010 20:16 - United States

Today, after I drank way too much, my friend pulled the car over so I could throw up. Next to my pile of puke was a discarded shoe that looked remarkably like one from my favorite pair. When I got home, I realized that my left shoe was missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 377

You deserved it 35 446

Dog whistle

By uglyshoegirl - 08/03/2015 21:49 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I sent a picture to my best friend of the shoes I want to wear to prom. She replied, "Wow those are so unique". I guess she forgot that last week she told me she only uses the word unique when she hates something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 905

You deserved it 3 161

Squeak day

By Nathalie - 30/09/2025 22:00

Today, I wore new shoes to work. They squeaked with every single step on the office building's lino floor. People thought it was funny at first, but then I had to walk across the entire office to the printer, going "squeak, squeak, squeak" for 45 seconds straight. By the time I got back, my nickname was now apparently “Squeaker of the house.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 102

Shook

By footfetish - 02/02/2013 11:21 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, a male employee at a shoe shop helped me try on shoes. Once I found a pair, I went to pay for them. I was telling the cashier about how great of an employee he was when she told me there were no male employees. A guy with a foot fetish helped me find shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 742

You deserved it 4 603

Nice guys

By Anonymous - 21/08/2021 10:01

Today, I broke a heel and fell. A real handsome guy helped me up, so being single I said I didn’t know how I might repay him, hoping he might ask me out. He asked me if I’d be willing to go to the public toilets round the corner and suck him off. Why do I even bother trying to find a nice guy? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 494

You deserved it 273

Bold fashion statement

By Ethan - 15/04/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I decided to wear socks with sandals while I ran some errands. The first person I saw was an old friend who looked at me, then looked down at my feet, and then just shook their head and said, “Why? Just… why?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 548

Don't tread on me

By Kate - 23/04/2009 14:09 - United States

Today, I was waiting for the train. It arrived, I got on and the woman behind me stepped on the back of my shoe. My shoe came flying off and landed in the gutter between the train and the platform. The doors closed, the train pulled away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 953

You deserved it 3 231

Great presentation!

By Sarah - 08/04/2025 00:00 - Australia

Today, I wore a new pair of heels to an interview. Halfway through, as they were showing me around the production floor, one of my heels snapped. I was forced to finish the interview wobbling on one heel like a drunk flamingo. I wasn’t offered the job, but they did say, “You have great balance.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 106

The main attraction

By Born Slippy - 23/06/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking on a rainy pavement in new shoes. Suddenly, I slipped, flailed my arms wildly, and landed flat on my back. The worst part? I was in front of a pub window. It was the middle of the day but still had people in it. Thankfully, no one applauded, because British people prefer to smirk in silence. A kid did give me a thumbs-up, which was nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 93

Sizing up

By tinyfeet - 02/03/2016 03:15 - New Zealand

Today, my company told me that they refuse to buy me new safety footwear without a doctor's note, because my shoe size is three sizes smaller than the minimum size my company provides. I actually have to get my doctor to prove my shoe size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 549

You deserved it 1 304

Squeak scene

By Anonymous - 25/08/2023 14:00 - Australia

Today, I wore new shoes to work. Little did I expect, once in contact with the linoleum floor in the building, my shoes started making a squeak at every step. I sounded like a toy rubber duck every time I walked down the hallway. The whole workplace has the same lino everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 114

I want to smell feet

By Anonymous - 16/08/2021 14:01

Today, my idiot son incinerated his shoes in the oven. They were wet and he wanted to "quick-dry" them, so now the whole house smells terrible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 168

Foot soldiers unite

By Anonymous - 06/05/2023 15:00

Today, I wore a new pair of shoes to work and spent the entire day hobbling around in discomfort. It wasn't until I got home that I realized I had forgotten to take remnants of the packing foam out of the tips of the shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 215

You deserved it 1 137

The cat's out of the bag

By Anonymous - 09/10/2023 00:02 - Canada - Laval

Today, I wore a new pair of shoes to work only to find out they make a clackety-clack noise with every step on the tiles in the company's corridors. My coworkers are now convinced I'm secretly training for a tap dance competition in my office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 148

Dog park blues

By Anonymous - 18/03/2025 00:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I took a peaceful walk through the park, and then sat on the grass. As I was enjoying the quiet, a dog appeared out of nowhere and decided my shoes were a chew toy. I spent 10 minutes trying to wrestle my shoes away from this dog, while its owner casually walked in the opposite direction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 73

A little stiff and rusty

By Footloose - 11/09/2023 14:30

Today, I went for a run to get in shape for the first time in ages. I put on my running shoes and hit the pavement. Halfway through, the sole of one shoe came off, and I had to hobble back home in embarrassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 118

Stinky

By Anonymous - 20/03/2025 15:00 - United States - Maryland Heights

Today, after wearing high heels all day, I took them off in the car, and sat cross-legged. My husband immediately threw a fit beside me, claiming my feet were disgusting and "smelled bad." He pulled into a parking lot and threatened to leave me there unless I put them back on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 295

Stylish

By Anonymous - 10/05/2023 10:00 - United Kingdom - Yate

Today, I went to a friend's wedding, only to realize I'd forgotten my dress shoes. I ended up wearing my pair of Converse Chuck Taylor's with my suit and stood out like a sore thumb in all the wedding photos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 703

Awkward silence

By Boothater - 03/04/2009 05:10 - United States

Today, the director of the play I'm in decided to show us an example of the type of shoes we would be wearing in the show. She brings in a pair of hideous black combat boots, and I remark how ugly they are. They're her own favorite boots. I had to carpool with her after rehearsal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 557

You deserved it 60 191

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Delivery Food Relatable Love Healthy Lifestyle Awkward Work Weddings Shoes Embarrassing Money Animals Cute Landlords Family AITA Kids Religion Public freakouts Keys Grandparents #FAFO Gambling Party Health Drunk Cats Wake up Gross

The Top

Today, I really didn't want to go to work. Still, I showed up for work early on the busiest night of the week and stayed back until past 10 p.m. Exhausted, I went to sign off the roster when I realised that, in fact, I was not rostered on for today at all. I'm on tomorrow, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 911

You deserved it 3 534

Today, I hit a car while trying to park. Assuming that no one saw, I moved my car and parked somewhere else. Hours later I get a call from the university police. While backing up to go to the police station I hit another car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 751

You deserved it 56 060

Today, after soccer practice I was looking for my dad. Last night he was an hour late, so I was pretty pissed. When I spotted him, I saw him flirting with a much younger woman. I then tried throwing my soccer ball to his feet, but ended up slamming his head. Only to find out he wasn't my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 792

You deserved it 38 645

Today, I got a few splinters at work. In the middle of trying to remove them, my coworkers noticed and decided to "help". Ten minutes later, the splinters are gone and so is the random mole on my palm I've had my whole life. My hand hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 279

You deserved it 380

Today, I got new meds for my OCD. If I don't take them at 8 a.m. every morning with a full meal, I won't sleep for 3 days. Goodbye lay ins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 778

You deserved it 197

Today, the lab wouldn't let me do my pre-employment drug test because they had no time when I had to pee really bad. They signed me in to do other blood work I needed, but when I asked to use the bathroom, they said it was for drug testing only. I peed myself in the lobby and couldn't do the blood test either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 95