Love

Half-hearted

By SherryBaby - 29/12/2009 07:41 - United States

Today, I got a phone call from my cheating ex, asking if I would go out with him tonight. After 3 years of no contact, I decided to give him another chance and gave him my address for his GPS. I was then told that I lived too far and he didn't want to drive. He cancelled. I live 15 minutes away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 874

You deserved it 28 255

By anonymous - 29/12/2009 01:21 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me 80 times in 5 minutes. I had previously told him I was with my friends. He left me a voicemail proposing saying he loved me to death and he was crying. We've been dating for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 277

You deserved it 5 054

By creeped - 29/12/2009 00:50 - United States

Today, I was talking to the guy that has been in love with me for two years. He said "There is a shortage of perfect breasts in the world. It would be a shame to lose yours." He then creepily looked at me and said "It's true." Thanks, Princess Bride, for supplying creepers with material. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 758

You deserved it 4 556

By lovehurts - 28/12/2009 20:41 - United States

Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend of two years over the phone, I got a knock on my door. It was my now ex-girlfriend who came to seek revenge by shooting me in the balls with a paintball gun at about a three-foot range. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 876

You deserved it 57 684

By syco - 28/12/2009 17:17 - United Kingdom

Today, the girl I like was panicking because her car broke down, so I offered her a lift to wherever she needed to be. I drove her to her boyfriend's house. She asked me to drive her home in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 299

You deserved it 7 406

By For - 28/12/2009 14:00 - United States

Today, I asked my husband if he thought I was pretty. He replied "compared to what?" He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 673

You deserved it 7 007

By KittyNeko - 28/12/2009 06:26 - United States

Today, I allowed my friend to talk me into going on a date. The guy's truck smelled like formaldehyde - I'm assuming from the snake that he apparently tried to turn into a necklace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 091

You deserved it 3 197

By Anonymous - 28/12/2009 05:03 - United States

Today, I got a call from a girl I fell madly in love with 8 years ago. She disappeared from my life with no trace. Turns out she just finalized her divorce, has 2 wild kids, packed on 75 lbs, has $25,000 in debt and is taking meds to keep from going crazy. Now she wants me back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 261

You deserved it 3 609

By anonymous - 28/12/2009 02:18 - United States

Today, the girl that I have been secretly madly in love with for 6 years told me "fuck off and stop doing nice things for me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 897

You deserved it 10 355

Bad sign

By ITalkGood - 28/12/2009 00:37 - France

Today, I finally told my girlfriend I love her. She corrected my grammar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 801

You deserved it 10 026

By notgoodenough38 - 27/12/2009 22:34 - United States

Today, my girlfriend left me for my sister. I can't stop thinking about all those days they went out alone for "girl time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 670

You deserved it 3 879

By porkythighs - 27/12/2009 14:19 - Singapore

Today, I was driving in the car with my boyfriend and he couldn't keep his hands off me. Nothing to complain about when your boyfriend likes to touch you, right? Except when he keeps smacking your jiggly thighs to watch the ripples and 'tenderize the pork chops'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 370

You deserved it 7 793

By reconnect - 27/12/2009 06:30 - United States

Today, Facebook told me I should reconnect with my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 341

You deserved it 7 735

By Kelly - 27/12/2009 04:44 - United States

Today, I gave my boyfriend a box of chocolates as a present. A few hours later, he texted me saying that the box of chocolates contained nuts. He's allergic to nuts and his mother now thinks I'm trying to kill him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 649

You deserved it 11 834

By blahppl14 - 27/12/2009 00:37 - United States

Today, my ex-boyfriend got high and decided to text all our friends and family the crazy stories about us. He was even nice enough to include pictures. I hear a nude one made it to my Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 112

You deserved it 13 522

By Vicky - 26/12/2009 20:47 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend went to kiss me as we were walking home. It was very icy and he slipped. His teeth went through my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 185

You deserved it 2 933

By Foam - 26/12/2009 06:10 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend went in to kiss me. He came in too aggressively and passionately and his front tooth knocked against mine. I am now missing a third of my right front tooth. Average cost for a dental crown? $900. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 715

You deserved it 3 007

By C45 - 25/12/2009 20:27 - Canada

Today, from my girlfriend of five years, I got my clothes back, my engagment ring and a card that says, "Merry Christmas! It's me not you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 609

You deserved it 2 597

By HeSucks - 25/12/2009 07:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a box of chocolates for Christmas. I thought it was sweet until I noticed the heart drawn on the back. It's the same box of chocolates I gave him for Christmas. Christmas last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 129

You deserved it 3 224

By Earths_Venus - 25/12/2009 06:28 - Australia

Today, I sat for 3 hours at my boyfriend's Christmas celebrations. He has 22 cousins. They open presents one at a time. In silence. I got nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 307

You deserved it 3 495

By hoplessG - 24/12/2009 23:37 - United States

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I told her best friend the plan the day before. I got reservations to a restaurant on the beach, and we were going to arrive via boat. She never showed. Her parents called me asking why she left town to go to Paris. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 724

You deserved it 3 361

By Nemesis2747 - 24/12/2009 06:09 - United States

Today, I took a friend home from the hospital. She was on medication that made her drowsy. She fell onto her bed and asked me to help her take off some clothes since she had her winter gear on. She passes out and her roommate walks in and catches me undressing an unconscious girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 839

You deserved it 3 326

By stupid_world - 24/12/2009 06:02 - Canada

Today, I learned that while anybody can call me a bitch, my husband got mad at his aunt for calling our dog a mutt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 770

You deserved it 3 745

By Dumped - 22/12/2009 07:57 - United States

Today, I was going on a date with my girlfriend. When I took her home, her sister came to the door. I used to date her sister and I didn't know they were related. My girlfriend realized this, then kicked me in the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 142

You deserved it 11 687

By CRWMEN - 22/12/2009 05:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend canceled our date I've been looking forward to all week because her dog was having puppies. She doesn't have a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 428

You deserved it 3 293

By chao - 22/12/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend what she thought of us getting married some day. She said she wasn't sure about me yet and that we may want to go in different directions soon. We've been dating for three years and I had the ring in my pocket at the moment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 259

You deserved it 3 870

By anonymous - 21/12/2009 19:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided to give me my Christmas present early because he's going to his grandparents' house for Christmas and won't see me. I was excited, until I unwrapped a sweater that I left there a month ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 257

You deserved it 3 001

By Agata - 21/12/2009 16:15 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years announced that he is not ready for marriage, and won’t be for 'at least' another 2 years. Of course he waited to tell me this 2 days after he had proposed to me in front of hundreds of people, I said yes, and we announced it to all our family members and friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 264

You deserved it 2 892

By michelleccali - 21/12/2009 10:32 - United States

Today, it was our 6 month anniversary. My boyfriend didn’t get me a present or take me out to dinner. Instead he cried to me about how much he hates his life while he repeatedly punched himself in the face. Then he dropped me off to spend time with his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 732

You deserved it 9 505

michelleccali tells us more.

michelleccali 0

Monday 21 December 2009 20:41

Ok, yes I am a teenager. The reason I was so upset over him not doing anything for our 6 months together was because he made sure I got him a present, and told me a bunch of times that he was planning something fun. So he got my hopes up for nothing. Then when I got sad about it, he got mad at me and pretty much ignored me.

By Anonymous - 21/12/2009 04:27 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our five-year anniversary. I got him a new flat-screen TV. He got me toilet seat cover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 129

You deserved it 4 699