Capitalism

By NotAMorningPerson - 12/02/2011 04:02 - United States

Today, after informing my boss that I needed stress leave from my 70-hour-a-week shifts, I got my new work assignment. Sixty hours a week, starting at 2 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 582

You deserved it 4 068

Compassion

By zawbentley - 26/09/2009 07:01 - United States

Today, I called my boss to let her know that I was suffering from severe depression and that my doctor suggested I take a month's leave. Her response? "Glad you are getting help, however we can't hold your job. No need to come to the office, we'll mail your stuff to you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 007

You deserved it 6 532

Pay up!

By Anonymous - 10/09/2009 01:44 - United States

Today, while driving on the tollway my car overheated and died a few yards from the toll booth. I then had to wait, crying, in my smoking car for a patrol guy while cars moved around me. He had to push me through the toll and the lady in the booth said she felt sorry for me but still took my $3. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 478

You deserved it 5 144

Thanks

By elipses - 22/08/2009 04:43 - Canada

Today, I got a report telling me how I had handled a mystery shopper at work. In this report, I found out that instead of saying, "Thank you" I'd said, "Have a nice day, take care." This kept me from getting a $150 bonus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 343

You deserved it 3 015

Thick as thieves

By blovesg - 07/04/2009 00:41 - United States

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the same store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 424

You deserved it 539 908

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The Top

The Top

Today, I found a baby squirrel on the pavement and thought I'd try and rescue it. While I googled what to do, it started running around. I tried to grab it, but it ran straight into the path of a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 438

You deserved it 4 069

Today, my mom decided to show me her new rape whistle. She kept blowing it every couple of minutes while we were stuck in traffic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 704

You deserved it 1 524

Today, I learned that it doesn't matter how good you've screwed a satellite dish onto the side of your house, it won't stop the wind the ripping it off and taking half the wall with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 393

You deserved it 3 028

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a break-up letter, using Comic Sans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 637

You deserved it 4 525

Today, my Dad and I went to McDonald's, only to have him shove two handfuls of sugar packets into the bag. He said, "If it's for free, why only take one?" To make it worse, my crush was at the till, watching what was happening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 656

You deserved it 3 785

Today, I realized that I’m old, and that it’s been too long since I had sex or even masturbated. How did I notice? Because I tried to, and I found out I couldn’t comfortably spread my legs that far anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 099

You deserved it 302