Kids: Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked...

By ohcrap - 02/08/2011 04:58 - United States

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 496

You deserved it 16 141

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Same thing different taste

By kewtness_17 - 01/10/2011 23:10 - United States

Today, I got mad at my 4 year old son for cussing me out. Afterwards, I went upstairs to get ready for the day. When I came back downstairs I found him pooping on my brand new leather couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 571

You deserved it 12 185

By Anonymous - 22/03/2017 17:00 - United States - Troy

Today, I saw some pretty heinous graffiti on the urinal stall at school, so I opted to scribble it out. A supervisor came in the second the pen touched the stall. Now I have detention and have to scrub the entire stall clean as a "lesson". FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 375

You deserved it 1 694

By Anonymous - 23/07/2016 23:04 - United States - Atlanta

Today, during a heated argument with my son, I lost my temper and called him a son of a bitch. He enthusiastically agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 878

You deserved it 19 309

By no - 17/11/2014 02:26 - United States

Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 648

You deserved it 4 007

By anonymous - 26/01/2013 08:42 - United States - Fairbanks

Today, while babysitting my neighbors' kids, their oldest son used a paint pen on the carpet. The boy blamed me and I got fired. He's only 3 and can barely talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 221

You deserved it 5 655

By EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - 17/08/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 327

You deserved it 7 539

By f_n_fail - 06/12/2016 21:31 - United States

Today, I got a note from my son's kindergarten teacher. During free time yesterday, he told her, "Mommy was stripping". I was indeed stripping. Paint that is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 206

You deserved it 730

Unfortunate coincidences

By FBI1236 - 07/07/2019 20:00 - Pakistan - Karachi

Today, I finally stood up for myself and beat the crap out of a bully at school, as my father told me to do. The kid and I were called to the principal's office, along with our parents. Inside my father's smirk faded when he saw that the kid's mom was his boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 692

You deserved it 230

Dat ass

By brandonborgie - 10/08/2021 04:01 - Australia

Today, my boss slapped me on the ass and said, "Good work, princess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 287

You deserved it 133

By Anonymous - 19/04/2013 23:33 - Sweden - Ljungby

Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 202

You deserved it 6 048

StopDropNRoll 11

Tuesday 2 August 2011 11:56

Sounds like a great conversation starter!

iknowimawesome 13

Tuesday 2 August 2011 12:06

"He did the same to me."- OP's wife.

Comments

franticravyn 7

Wednesday 3 August 2011 0:08

Son: Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt. Boss: What what in the butt?

bnvc 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 0:23

dont hit kids. ever. YDI

Grimsey 4

Wednesday 3 August 2011 1:48

People that think you should "Never hit your kids" are the reason so many damn kids think they can get away with ANYTHING! When my kids do something wrong and they already KNOW its wrong , they get a smack (or two) on their ass and sent to their room! Every single time they come out 10 to 15 minutes later and come sit beside me. I give them a reason why they got punished then they apologize and get a hug, if they do it again they get the same punishment until they figure out its unacceptable. There is a difference between punishing your kids and abusing them, people need to learn that! When I was 8 years old my mom BEAT THE SHIT (not literally) out of me because I hit a girl. Guess what, 18 years later I still love my mom and I have a TON of respect for women, and a great relationship now because of it!

scene_girlie 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 0:37

atleast he didn't say - "daddy made me take in punishment in the mouth." lol

morrowsource 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 1:04

Oh god that's awesome hahaha

tarabelle 7

Wednesday 3 August 2011 1:07

kids say the darndest things

Vanity_Knight 3

Wednesday 3 August 2011 2:10

LMFAO

sk8erd 15

Wednesday 3 August 2011 2:56

Well.. yea that doesn't "sound" pleasant to your boss or anyone around but.. least he didnt say it while crying or nothin. Then you woulda been ******!