Kids: Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year old son answered...

By notyouagain - 03/10/2010 07:40 - Australia

Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year old son answered the door and when he saw me said, 'oh great, it's YOU' and slammed the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 604

You deserved it 4 950

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Same thing different taste

By mimo - 14/11/2008 04:16 - France

Today, I ate at a friend's house. Her 5-year-old son, who was at the table with us, looked at me and said quietly, "You're ugly." My friend told him off, causing him to cry, and shout, "But she isn't pretty!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 501

You deserved it 5 007

By Anonymous - 04/04/2009 02:07 - United States

Today, I was hanging out at a friend's house. Her adorable 5 year-old sister came up, gave me a hug, and said, "You're fat. When are you going home?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 888

You deserved it 6 073

The nickname that sticks

By boobswerehere - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Reno

Today, I went to visit my best friend at her house. I saw her five year-old brother playing in the front yard, and as I walked up to the door he shouted, "Boobs are here! Boobs are here!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 987

You deserved it 1 584

By unwanted - 26/11/2014 18:13 - Canada - Dollard-des-ormeaux

Today, I drove over an hour to my grandma's house for her birthday party. When she answered the door, her eyes went wide and she said angrily "No, not you!" and slammed the door shut in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 636

You deserved it 2 939

By -1 friend - 17/05/2013 21:16 - United States - Freeport

Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 347

You deserved it 14 678

By Anon - 12/01/2012 19:24 - United States

Today, I tried to give my friend a fist bump. He thought I was trying to punch him so he punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 489

You deserved it 5 365

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

By Anonymous - 19/07/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I knocked on the door of my friend’s apartment to surprise her. It opened, and an angry stranger shouted, “Who are you?” at me. I then realized I was on the wrong floor of the building. My friend still doesn’t know I almost barged in on her neighbor, because I'm too embarrassed to tell her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 362

By Anonymous - 25/06/2009 02:06 - Canada

Today, I was visiting my friend's new house and he was showing me around. I saw a small door in the wall and decided to open it. When I opened it, his daughter was hiding in there and screamed to scare me. Now I know my scream is more high pitched than his daughter's. I'm a 37 year old male. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 770

You deserved it 7 389

By anonymous - 20/09/2016 22:49 - United States - Avon

Today, I tried to jokingly hold the door shut so my friend, who I'd seen walking down the hall to our class, couldn't get in. It was funny, until my new teacher yelled "Open the damn door!" from the other side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 386

You deserved it 12 323

By downlowtooslow - 12/06/2009 04:49 - United States

Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 669

You deserved it 6 874

failblorg 0

Sunday 3 October 2010 16:09

lmaoo you must be extremely annoying

DocBastard 38

Sunday 3 October 2010 16:12

So spank him. Done.

Comments

Stunsz 0

Sunday 3 October 2010 18:47

**** the kid no respect your friend needs to teach her son manners

skyeyez9 24

Sunday 3 October 2010 18:54

Alot of kids are rotten *****. Why their parents let them get away with that behavior is ridiculous. My kid will be 7 in a few days and I taught her manners. You do a disservice teaching them that being a rude and selfish twit is ok.

Mami_Gaby18 0

Sunday 3 October 2010 19:16

maybe he is just jealous or his mom sent him to do that to make you go away =D

juicydez 0

Sunday 3 October 2010 19:45

I'm fascinated at how rude some children are. I have 5 brothers and sisters below the age of 8 and none of them have ever said anything like that.

stewpididiot 11

Sunday 3 October 2010 19:49

you should have kicked the little ****** in the nutz.... JK JK..I joke..I joke seriously, he was either imitating his mom or some stupid cartoon character like SpongeBob... some cartoons these daze are turning kids into morons. I fear for this generation...

blahzz 4

Sunday 3 October 2010 19:59

You just got pwned by a 5 year old.

hiphop_danca94 2

Sunday 3 October 2010 20:07

dissed and dismissed:)

ImaginaryFoe 0

Sunday 3 October 2010 20:09

I fully loathe it when kids answer the door or the phone. Just because you think your little darlings' conversational gaffs are cute doesn't mean you have to subject your friends to them.

TheIrishJaneDoe 8

Sunday 3 October 2010 22:24

Agreed, and I especially hate answering machine/voicemail greetings left by children mumbling, laughing, singing or screaming into the phone. -.- I never know if the kid picked up or if it's recorded, so I tend to do this thing: [incoherent child's voice] "... Hello? Are you there? [long pause] Hey, is your mommy hom-- *BEEP* Aww shit, it's a message. Now I look like a ****** moro--" *click*. Of course, all they hear is my frustrated swearing while I'm trying to figure out the delete and rerecord code, which is inevitably followed by me accidentally hanging up instead. Then I'm too embarrassed to call back. I'm pretty sure all of my long-distance friends with offspring think I'm perpetually drunk. =

ImaginaryFoe 0

Monday 4 October 2010 2:36

Aren't you, IrishJane, aren't you? ;P It's just not all that cute outside the family circle and even if it is cute (as in the case of my delightful brood), it's ill-timed. I don't call or visit unless I have to say something and I don't want to have to deal with your kid first making sing-songy small talk.