Health: Today, I finally went to the bathroom after being constipated...

By Me - 20/06/2011 16:14 - United States

Today, I finally went to the bathroom after being constipated for two days. The good news? I lost two pounds. The bad news? The toilet won't flush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 521

You deserved it 5 630

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/05/2012 03:14 - United States

Today, after 4 days of constipation, I finally pooped. Sadly, I was not on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 807

You deserved it 3 070

Out of the frying pan…

By Anonymous - 16/10/2025 20:00

Today, after a five day bout of severe chronic constipation, I decided to get some orange juice and increase my water intake. The good news is that I'm no longer constipated. The bad news is that I've got diarrhea now. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 110

By Poopie - 29/01/2011 06:06 - Canada

Today, after suffering from constipation for three days, I finally took a dump. Just as things reached the point of no return, my land line and doorbell all rang. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 237

You deserved it 3 223

You need more fiber

By Anonymous - 30/04/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I finally got over having constipation for two days straight. It came in the form of a normal-sized, rock-hard turd that made me scream "Ow!" when it came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 116

Rolling thunder

By Dana - 21/11/2025 00:00

Today, it's been a week that I've had bad constipation. Overeating on my 16th birthday last week got me sick; since then I've pooped only once, and it took a hard push to go it out. Today I had my second poop. Good news: I did go. Bad: it happened on the bus home from school. My pals actually cheered when I finished straining. FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 321

By constipated - 03/06/2017 02:00

Today, I was fired from my job for being constipated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 353

You deserved it 456

Yoyo

By jetpack girl - 22/02/2023 22:00

Today, after months of grueling hard work, I'd finally gained five pounds. Too bad I lost it all and then some, due to one good stomach flu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 718

You deserved it 107

By missbutthole - 04/06/2011 13:07 - United States

Today, after being chronically constipated for the better part of a week, I finally have the urge to poop. Too bad I'm 30 minutes early to work and locked out of the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 722

You deserved it 3 895

Deal breaker

By frankie - 19/01/2009 01:01 - Canada

Today, I had a date with a girl. After movies and dinner, we came back to my place. I had to go to the washroom BADLY. I took a BIG #2 and when I went to flush the toilet to my horror it wouldn't flush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 932

You deserved it 3 553

Slid right out

By Tabby Rosas - 21/02/2021 21:30

Today, after 8 days of being on a medication that makes it hard to go to the bathroom and no luck taking laxatives and drinking coffee and apple juice, I finally got to go. Too bad I was at my desk at work when it happened. I washed out my pants in the bathroom and got to sit in wet pants for 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 133

You deserved it 91

HippoCampus 7

Monday 20 June 2011 23:08

Tell your toilet to quit being so full of shit!

miserypoison 13

Monday 20 June 2011 23:07

0-1 Toilet wins.

Comments

YouBetterGit 0

Sunday 26 June 2011 0:02

Shit happens!

hmugsy 3

Sunday 26 June 2011 1:39

look on the bright side :) go get a plummer.

Constantlyfucked 1

Sunday 26 June 2011 3:30

Lmao been there! FML lol

nyoungwv 0

Sunday 26 June 2011 8:32

plunger???

ItzKymra 0

Monday 27 June 2011 11:20

The toilet gained two pounds(:

farrell011 1

Tuesday 19 July 2011 20:59

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skyttlz 32

Sunday 14 August 2011 7:45

Use a plunger

subwoofa 0

Tuesday 10 January 2012 8:41

Well, looks like your chit out of luck. HAHAHAHA!!

balviet123 2

Wednesday 15 February 2012 23:08

Constipated for two days? And It was 2 pounds? Even if this is true, I'd like to say that you are EXTREMELY lucky. People are hospitalized because of stuff like this. If it were 2 pounds, you could have had that much backed up in your large intestine to cause an eruption and explosion of said organ. Meaning you would be poisoned by your lack of bowel movement. 2 pounds doesn't happen in 2 day. YDI for not taking care of yourself.