Btaylor91

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

One more and it's business time

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Btaylor91's favorite FMLs

Emergency

By Anonymous - 03/05/2009 23:22 - United States

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of two years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307 608

You deserved it 20 923

By Anonymous - 10/04/2009 18:42 - United States

Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out he's my cousin: priceless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 216 966

You deserved it 70 171

akd_rocks tells us more.

akd_rocks 0

Saturday 11 April 2009 2:23

Okay I'm the person that wrote this, I wrote it earlier today before I got my account and its one hundered percent true we talked about family we exchanged pics but i had never met him before he was my moms sisters son adn i have never met that part of my family because my mom was disowned for marrying my dad. his last name was my moms maiden name so i didnt think anything of it especially since its a common last name, SMITH. soo yes it may seem ridiculous but its real and awful

Woozy

By Dunzo15 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves, so I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview, I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202 831

You deserved it 52 170

Cornered

By blarg - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got in a huge fight with my mom, so I went to my room and locked myself in there and played loud music so I didn't have to hear her. She then started yelling at me on Facebook, so I logged out of Facebook. She then started yelling at me on Yahoo. Damn technology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 221

You deserved it 27 897

By wtfdreams - 17/05/2009 12:33 - United States

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 614

You deserved it 92