jordanpulice

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Jordanpulice's favorite FMLs

By Prego my ego - 23/07/2009 17:39 - France

Today, I had my first date with this guy I really like, who came to pick me up. Once I got into his car, my uncle comes out of the house and yells "Remember, pregnant girls aren't allowed to drink." FML

agreeclassic 48 093

vote type 1 7 872

Funny how?

By funnyguyNOT - 05/04/2009 21:39 - United States

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML

agreeclassic 24 319

vote type 1 285 252

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

agreeclassic 799

vote type 1 1 940

By MrCanoe - 01/03/2009 21:58 - Canada

Today, my mom had my girlfriend and me over. Out of the blue, she pulled out my grandmother's wedding ring and gave it to me saying I can now propose. My girlfriend started screaming and said yes. I have been seeing someone else for 3 months and was going to break up with my girlfriend tomorrow. FML

agreeclassic 130 260

vote type 1 300 348

By ihavepinkbackpac - 28/02/2009 19:07 - United States

Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML

agreeclassic 81 873

vote type 1 804 184