elk479

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Elk479's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 25/01/2011 21:15 - United States

Today, I was released from jail. I had helped a three year old girl get up after falling on a wet floor at the mall last night when the security guards tasered me. Only this morning did they tell me they had mistaken me for a child molester that looks a little bit like me. FML

agreeclassic 48 161

vote type 1 3 568

By bucollegegirl - 08/10/2012 14:07 - United States

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he said that I should go to the bathroom so we don't end up pregnant. When I asked why, he said that I need to "pee out the semen." I explained to him 5 times that I don't pee out of my vagina. He still doesn't get it. FML

agreeclassic 41 811

vote type 1 6 579

By Unfortunate - 08/10/2012 00:24 - United States - Bellevue

Today, I realized that my life would make an excellent meme: Nerd girl goes to college, finally loses virginity; gets chlamydia. FML

agreeclassic 43 142

vote type 1 13 980

By Bigpoppa0507 - 31/08/2011 14:02 - Canada

Today, while playing with bubble wrap, I dislocated my thumb. FML

agreeclassic 27 414

vote type 1 14 654

By Anonymous - 04/02/2011 05:42 - United States

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

agreeclassic 78 028

vote type 1 7 447