Johnx_fml

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Lowell, MA
34 years-old
Tuesday 12 November 1991
single

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Johnx_fml's favorite FMLs

By The Sbeak - 13/02/2009 15:54 - United States

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

agreeclassic 635

vote type 1 51

By melons - 03/07/2013 09:09 - United Kingdom - Redditch

Today, the massive bogey that had been dangling precariously from my manager's nose for half an hour finally detached itself. Into my coffee. FML

agreeclassic 49 130

vote type 1 5 308

By strokesie - 03/07/2013 06:56 - United States - Columbus

Today, I had a job interview. All was going well until the interviewer asked me, "So, why should we hire you?" Without thinking, I blurted out, "Because, I'm awesome!" Don't think I'll be getting that one. FML

agreeclassic 41 385

vote type 1 17 923

strokesie app_comment_confession_title

strokesie 23

Wednesday 3 July 2013 20:00

Hey, OP here. After I said that, the interviewer busted out laughing- so there's a plus. She also said something along the lines of "Ya know, nobody says that sort of thing. Usually it's the boring 'I really need a job' type. But not you!" And laughed some more. I really need this job though, I've applied everywhere and this place is the first to call me. I won't know if I got it or not until next week, so I'm crossing my fingers!

By Acidic Donut - 30/06/2013 23:48 - United States - Brookfield

Today, I hid my parents' booze since I'd always thought their shitty behavior was due to drinking too much. Turns out they're just assholes. FML

agreeclassic 55 721

vote type 1 8 955

By opherehehhehe - 25/06/2013 04:04 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I held a party for my family so I could announce my pregnancy. In the middle of my speech, my mother stopped me, saying, "Nobody gives a rat's ass, where's the booze?" FML

agreeclassic 50 717

vote type 1 4 053

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opherehehhehe 5

Tuesday 25 June 2013 19:16

The speech took less than 2 minutes, it was a brief message thanking everyone for coming and how me and my husband greatly appreciate it. The party was the only way to gather my whole family. A dinner reservation would cost hundreds of dollars considering the size of my family. My brother just led my mother out and we carried on. Yes, we did supply a little wine but be didn't want a lot of alcohol considering I am pregnant and I don't want anyone drunk. Just clearing it up (: