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Monday 28 November 1988

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Dodgy

jsw029 - 26/02/2009 04:51 - United States

Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We start having sex and, about 30 seconds in, he stops and says it's not right - he likes me too much for a one night stand. He gives me his number, a kiss on the cheek, and leaves. It turns out that he'd already came. I called his phone - wrong number. FML

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Kallian - 09/11/2012 06:47 - Australia

Today, my friend showed me a video of me in a nightclub. I was holding two Skittles vodka shots and shouting, "Red and green, merry Kwanzaa!" The shots were yellow and purple. I can't remember that night at all. FML

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Friday 9 November 2012 17:02

18- It WAS a shit faced awesome night. 12- Yeah, I kinda was tripping.

99Problemsandfml - 08/11/2012 19:03 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, I had to buy a new vacuum cleaner. My previous one stopped working, because apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to suck up our puppy's shit from the floor. FML

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Whatever floats your boat

Anonymous - 01/11/2012 11:48 - France - Belloy-en-france

Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly, and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML

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okay._. - 01/11/2012 07:54 - United States - Marysville

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for him to get home and see my costume, and that I had dressed up as a naked lady. He texted back asking if I could dress up as someone who was making dinner instead. FML

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