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The struggle is real

By nitemastr15 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Fort Worth

Today, while shopping for Black Friday, I got in line, hoping to get an Xbox One. I spent so long mistakenly standing in line for the bathroom that the store had sold out by the time I realized my mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 076

You deserved it 14 800

nitemastr15 tells us more.

nitemastr15 17

Tuesday 30 August 2016 6:06

Ok guys, OP here. Just to clarify, me and my brother each decided that I would get the PS4 and he would get the X-box One. He didn't have the money for his when I had the money for mine and he was really bummed out so I decided I was going to buy the console he wanted with my money and wait for my PS4. Fortunately though, he received an X-box One from his girlfriend the next day so it's actually a good thing I didn't end up being able to get one.

By Husband - 13/03/2017 18:00

Today, my wife called to me from across the house just to look at the penis-shaped period bloodstain on the back of her underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 510

You deserved it 912

By Ugly??? - 30/04/2017 00:00 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, a woman messaged me on a dating app to tell me that I was ugly, and that I shouldn't be allowed on the site. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 297

You deserved it 467

By Maruska28 - 07/09/2017 20:00

Today, we bought our first home after months of searching and years of saving. It's directly in the path of Hurricane Irma and may be destroyed before we even get the chance to move in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 982

You deserved it 430

Alcohol ain't no joke

By WellPlayedMother - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually lose anything. Instead, my mom drunkenly admitted to tossing my stuff away and then punishing me for it whenever she was mad at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 731

You deserved it 1 079

By okaythen - 14/08/2016 19:21 - United States - Euless

Today, I asked out this girl at work who I've had a crush on for a while. She looked oddly familiar, aside from the fact that we worked together. It was almost like we'd met outside of work. Two hours and one Snapchat story later, I realized I'd asked out my best friend's girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 440

You deserved it 5 027

By not even interested - 15/10/2017 16:00

Today, at a wedding reception, I accidentally caught the bouquet. I got cussed out by the women who were fighting over it for being uninvited and party crashing. I'm a busgirl and the bouquet only landed on the tray I was holding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 261

You deserved it 237

By millie_marie - 09/08/2016 22:47

Today, I have a huge crush on my best friend who views me as his little sister. My coworker found out and has since been making incest jokes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 924

You deserved it 1 375

millie_marie tells us more.

millie_marie 2

Thursday 11 August 2016 17:51

OP here! I felt like I should probably clear a few things up. He's been my best friend since we met first semester of college, and we tell each other everything. Our relationship has ALWAYS been brother/sister, but we went to a late showing of Suicide Squad over the weekend and he slept at my house since it was almost one in the morning when the movie ended. And we both cuddle with the person in bed with us, and I realized I must have been catching feelings for a while because I really wanted more than that. He's interested in someone else (again, we tell each other everything), so I know nothing's going to come of that. As for my coworker, someone said to let him know what he's doing is harassment, but he and I joke with each other all the time. We work at a place where if we all don't joke around and make fun of each other, we'd go crazy trying to stay sane. He is an ass, but he'll stop eventually. It's just that it stings a bit now because he wasted no time when in the past he's waited until I'm out of my bad mood about the situation. Thanks for the support and jokes, guys. It made me feel a bit better (:

#worthit

By Toni - 18/11/2017 15:00 - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, on my way to work, I missed my bus because I forgot my wallet. I had a lot of time before the next bus so I took the opportunity to go home for coffee and a proper breakfast. Then, while getting on the next bus, I realized I forgot my wallet again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 884

You deserved it 4 052

By Not his SunShine anymore - 10/07/2016 23:04 - United States - Manchester

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me over something that happened 5 years ago. We've only been together for 2 years as of this July. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 745

You deserved it 1 078

Bad Luck Brian

By Hayley - 24/02/2018 19:00

Today, my doctor told me that my lungs are as bad as a 60-year-old heavy smoker's. I'm 19 and I've never touched a cigarette in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 106

You deserved it 243

By PaintedDoll - 20/06/2016 03:12 - United States

Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her I was at my dad's house, she clarified; she meant her husband of one year, not my actual father who has raised me for the past 25 years. Apparently, he feels "left out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 781

You deserved it 1 615

PaintedDoll tells us more.

PaintedDoll 13

Monday 20 June 2016 18:56

Hey guys OP here. For a little back story the call was from my mother (I thought I put that in there). She has been married to her husband for about a year and they dated for about a year before that. I don't really see him except for holidays, because I've been living on my own since before they met. I didn't call him because he has his own children from a previous relationship, so I assumed he was spending time with them.

By Stalkerella - 08/05/2018 05:51

Today, I asked my neighbor to kindly move his truck because it blocks my driveway and the side entrance to my yard. He responded by throwing a decapitated bird onto my front lawn and filing an injunction against me for stalking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 696

You deserved it 274

By Howdoiwatchpoliticsnow - 29/05/2016 20:06 - United States - Newton

Today, I tried to get my son off of the couch by turning off the wifi. Afterward, I went to watch tv. Turns out he got me back by turning off the cable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 974

You deserved it 6 557

By ex-wife - 25/05/2018 15:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I found out that my 50-year-old ex-husband and the 20-year-old skank he cheated on me with are buying the house next door to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 667

You deserved it 310

By CantPoop - 13/07/2018 15:00 - United States - Springdale

Today, I was telling my wife how being told to drink water all day when you're not even thirsty is "such a scam". Suddenly, I felt an excruciating pain in my abdomen. The ER had to give me IV fluids because I was so constipated from dehydration. The bill was over $2000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 472

You deserved it 7 205

By bruised - 11/04/2016 07:26 - United States - Novi

Today, I lay in bed reflecting on my fiancé's complaint about my lack of displays of affection. I felt terrible, so I rolled over and hugged him in his sleep. He's a fully trained martial artist and his immediate reaction was to try to snap my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 830

You deserved it 3 060

By How? - 29/09/2018 17:30 - United States - Glasford

Today, a bird crashed into my face. I didn't think that actually happened to people outside of cartoons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 052

You deserved it 212

By taz - 05/10/2018 15:30

Today, I saw an old high school friend I haven't seen in years and decided to sneak up to surprise him. In the last 15 years he became a soldier and a Muay Thai martial artist. My arm is numb and I think I may be peeing blood. Never sneak up behind a soldier. It really hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 384

You deserved it 3 231

WTF is this fresh hell?

By swag papi - 22/01/2016 05:47 - Australia - Perth

Today, my pubic hairs were poking into my wang. I went to scratch it. Something bit my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 045

You deserved it 8 380

By Ouch - 02/12/2018 03:00 - Australia - Port Melbourne

Today, I asked the guy of my dreams out to the cinema. After saying to me "It's a date!" I started booking tickets. He said, "Why are you booking two?" I looked at him confused and then he said, "What about Dave? Dave? My boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 157

You deserved it 577

By Anonymous - 17/01/2016 07:26 - United States - Blair

Today, I found out that the only reason I'm alive is because my dad beat the living shit out of my mom to stop her getting an abortion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 335

You deserved it 1 907

Jerry! Jerry!

By Annonmyus - 03/12/2010 08:56

Today, my boyfriend left me for my step-sister. He's been cheating on me with her for the past 6 months, and got her pregnant. I also found out that my stomach pains are due to the fact that I'm also pregnant. My family could officially qualify for Jerry Springer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 496

You deserved it 9 837

By mitochondriaisthepowerhouseofthecell - 27/12/2018 02:00

Today, I had my final piano performance. There is a guy in my class who constantly tells me I suck at piano, so I was looking forward to watching him play badly since he never practices. Instead, he played the most beautiful music that would make Mozart weep. He got a standing ovation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 666

You deserved it 756

By lolmyfduplife - 24/12/2015 06:10

Today, I put my 5 month-old daughter in her swinging chair and walked into the kitchen to make her a bottle. When I came back, she was giggling because the dog was licking her face. It would have been cute, picture worthy even, if I actually had a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 713

You deserved it 2 103

Definitely didn't miss that one

By BirdWatching - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - London

Today, after moving to the big city, and missing the natural world from my tiny, 10th floor apartment, I bought a window bird feeder. Within half an hour, it had fallen off, landed on, and killed a pigeon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 400

You deserved it 829

By FalloutScrolls - 13/11/2015 14:49 - United States - Eau Claire

Today, I got several angry messages on Facebook, demanding to know how I could cheat on my wife. They didn't believe me when I said I had no idea what they meant. Turns out my wife made a sarcastic post about my "new mistress". She was talking about Fallout 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 341

You deserved it 3 022

FalloutScrolls tells us more.

FalloutScrolls 25

Saturday 14 November 2015 2:18

Hey guys, OP here. So the actual FML character limit doesn't allow for part 2 of this story. My wife actually did mention Fallout in the post, but because it was rather lengthy and the punchline was towards the end, people knee-jerk overreacted to what they saw, and didn't notice that the long post was abbreviated on Facebook with a "read more" link. Several messages later, all is cleared up, and we're laughing about it now.