Intimacy: Today, my wife knelt down in front me to give me a blowjob. As...

By Moth_Balled - 15/12/2015 04:50 - Australia

Today, my wife knelt down in front me to give me a blowjob. As she took my underwear off a moth flew out of them. I've got no idea how it got there but I was cock-blocked by a moth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 563

You deserved it 6 426

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Same thing different taste

Sorry, dude

By Aussie mate - 24/09/2020 08:01 - Australia

Today, I got up and started getting ready for work. As I entered the bathroom, I noticed a moth in the shower. Feeling generous, I caught the moth in a cup and took it to the front porch. I released the moth and watched it fly away… into a giant spider and its web. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 233

By Anonymous - 02/08/2009 21:20 - Canada

Today, a moth was flying around my house. Annoyed, I picked up a shoe to crush it with. The moth landed on a light fixture on the ceiling, so I made my move. Dead, the moth slipped gracefully through air and onto my head. So did the light fixture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 826

You deserved it 52 004

By DisgustinglyFrustrated - 10/10/2013 15:40 - Argentina - Rosario

Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 277

You deserved it 18 037

Cursed underwear

By Anonymous - 23/11/2011 16:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I managed to convince a girl to come back to my place for a bit of fun. Unfortunately, I was wearing cheap new black underwear, and some of its fibers had stuck themselves to my knob, making it look like a weird fleshy caterpillar. I didn't get lucky. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 355

You deserved it 20 436

Love is love

By SpiderMan - 12/03/2009 00:23 - United States

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor… and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 486

You deserved it 106 847

Spider-Maaaaaaan

By 8 Legs plus 1 - 08/05/2020 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky. She went to the bathroom momentarily, only to be greeted by a 'huge' spider, which disappeared under a cabinet. Due to her chronic arachnophobia, this instantly turned her off and caused her paranoia all night. I essentially got cock-blocked by a spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 997

You deserved it 285

By BigBangrocksthenight - 03/04/2010 00:31 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. Things got kind of heated, so he decided to take off my bra. They cooled back down when a bug flew out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 614

You deserved it 10 477

By foreverDark - 14/05/2012 12:40 - United States - Aurora

Today, I woke up after a long night of trying to catch a moth. I'd knocked down furniture and screamed up the house to do so, but I finally got it. What did I see first thing this morning? Another moth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 615

You deserved it 23 541

It's getting hot in here…

By Anonymous - 17/06/2022 16:00 - New Zealand

Today, my wife surprised me with a blow job. Turns out it was a punishment for not doing the washing, as she did it with Chilli powder in her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 259

You deserved it 356

Such a weird move either way

By 1337fade - 07/04/2011 05:19 - Denmark

Today, my wife figured that a good foreplay move would be to rub MY underwear in MY face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 307

You deserved it 9 751

scout333 15

Tuesday 15 December 2015 13:47

When you've got moths in your groin, you know it's been a while.

catwomam 15

Tuesday 15 December 2015 13:45

Personal hygiene is a must!

Comments

janfleury 19

Tuesday 15 December 2015 17:49

Thanks for the laugh.

deejflat 17

Tuesday 15 December 2015 19:23

The moth got more action than you did

schreibergx93 19

Tuesday 15 December 2015 19:29

That is pretty gross.

moocowmilk0 19

Tuesday 15 December 2015 19:44

that really blows dosent it :^)

BrotherPhil 35

Thursday 17 December 2015 7:18

The moth might, but apparently his wife doesn't.

TripleDallas123 15

Tuesday 15 December 2015 19:46

YDI, you shouldn't have been cheating on your wife with a moth.

atlien247 16

Tuesday 15 December 2015 20:07

Been a while, eh? Oh wait, OP is married. That would explain it.

NakedandAfraid 14

Tuesday 15 December 2015 20:37

talk about mothballs... amiright

straightventing 11

Tuesday 15 December 2015 20:51

At least you don't have roaches!

zarrganaut 17

Tuesday 15 December 2015 20:53

Sounds like it's been a while.

hannahkonda 14

Tuesday 15 December 2015 21:06

Moths are evil. I had one fly up between my eye and my glasses once and flutter around in an attempt to blind me even more than I already am. Just pure evil.