Animals: Today, I was with my girlfriend in her room. She starts screaming....

By spiderhater - 12/04/2009 18:11 - United States

Today, I was with my girlfriend in her room. She starts screaming. Her father bursts in and, thinking I'm some kind of rapist, hits me in the head with a baseball bat. Not bad enough? I wasn't the one making her scream. There was a huge spider on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106 831

You deserved it 5 327

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Same thing different taste

Very very frightening

By graham - 11/01/2020 14:00

Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 865

You deserved it 359

It was an accident!

By innocent - 06/01/2014 21:32 - Australia

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 068

You deserved it 7 519

By Ohfman117 - 11/08/2009 20:30 - United States

Today, I was sneaking over to my girlfriend's house. I sent her mother a text message thinking it was my girlfriend saying "There's a stalker coming in to make you his play mate ;]" Unfortunately when I got to her window I was greeted by her dad with a bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 963

You deserved it 71 829

By eightleggedtictac - 08/06/2014 15:10 - United States - Worcester

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 799

You deserved it 6 860

She definitely won though

By Anonymous - 24/08/2018 15:00

Today, as part of our prank war, my girlfriend found a hairy tarantula picture and stuck it on the wall. I hadn't yet told her I'm arachnophobic, and when I saw it I passed out and hit my head hard enough to need an ambulance. She decided she's won the war and I don't get a say in the matter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 672

You deserved it 816

Wailing

By katchoo - 03/11/2013 07:34 - Denmark

Today, I had a panic attack when a huge spider ran over my hand. I screamed, wailed, and killed it with a shoe while shouting. Ten minutes later, police slammed on my door. My neighbor called them, saying it sounded like someone was being murdered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 612

You deserved it 8 502

Bath time [GONE WRONG][CREEPYPASTA]

By noname - 27/12/2008 04:07 - France

Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 319

You deserved it 23 918

By jillydark6609 - 19/09/2010 06:21 - United States

Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 299

You deserved it 14 272

By *facefloor* - 24/07/2012 20:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 100

You deserved it 5 426

By eyes wide SHIT - 28/12/2013 01:37 - Australia

Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 040

You deserved it 5 963

Aera_fml 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 22:35

Argh. I hate spiders SO much. I usually am the one people go to, though. Anyways, her father obviously doesn't trust you much. Poor you. ~_~

Pitaace 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 22:41

at least he didn't shoot you

Comments

sLap_fml 0

Monday 13 April 2009 0:51

you could probably charge him with assault if you really wanted to.. that is ridiculous that he over reacted that much. i hope your head is okay.

BigLord 0

Monday 13 April 2009 0:53

I sure hope the spider was next, lol

USNinja 0

Monday 13 April 2009 0:54

Poor little itsy, bitsy spider..... /(*)/

iebabe 0

Monday 13 April 2009 1:09

haha #48 true true.. i hate spiders.. but its across the room on the wall.. HELLO WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING????? and dad WHY DO U AUTOMATICALLY START BEATING UP THE BOYFRIEND.. Wierdo!! MEAN MAYBE.. ATleast i didnt hit you with a baseball bat!!

ryan__h 1

Monday 13 April 2009 1:11

although it does seem like they were doing something bad/naughty, you guys shouldn't automatically assume it was sex

jessxoxo28 5

Monday 13 April 2009 1:11

LMAO!!!! wow!!!sorry but, thats so funny!!!! i hope ur head feels better... lol!!!

Kiquick 0

Monday 13 April 2009 1:12

Dude, you need to show/prove to her dad that even if she does scream that you can take care of it and don't necessarily need him to protect her! An irrational fear of spiders is called arachnophobia - commonly formed in children who have traumatic experiences with spiders! The irrational fear of anything, ranging from spiders to enclosed spaces to heights are common morons! Breaking up with a woman because she freaks out when she sees a spider is stupid! Do you really care that much about something so menial that you would actually contemplate break up? Anybody who does so should definetly not be in a relationship in the first place! Look at the big picture!

beany212 0

Monday 13 April 2009 1:18

Today, I heard my sister screaming. All of a sudden her boyfriend starts screaming and so does my dad. I sure wish they would do that in like a hotel of something. FML

youknowit2 0

Monday 13 April 2009 1:21

#31 is right... her dad hit you in the head with a BASEBALL bat, and you're still alive? And kicking? And Conscious enough to write this? AND... a baseball is a weapon. According to law, this is considered assault with a DEADLY weapon, in that he struck you in a vital area. Or even attempted homicide, if he swung for your head. Uh, this guy is a walking felony charge. I hope you're not BS-ing, or someone could moniter this, find your girlfriend's dad, and bring him in to lock him up. If you're lame enough to lie about getting hit in the head with a freakin' BAT, you MIGHT want to think about the consequences of trying to sound "cool". Sounds a little far-fetched there, kiddo.