Miscellaneous: Today, I was at a get-together at a friend's house. Half an hour... - FML

By Anonymous - 28/09/2015 09:01 - United Kingdom - Southam

Today, I was at a get-together at a friend's house. Half an hour in, it became clear that someone had farted, and we all took turns asking who it was. When someone asked me, my girlfriend chimed in with, "Oh please, if it was him, you'd all be dead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 943

You deserved it 4 691

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Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 05/05/2015 05:41 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was talking to a cute guy at my house party and had to fart. Luckily, it was silent. Unluckily, he smelled it, thought my house had a gas leak, and ran to the basement to check the pipes and ensure our safety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 585

You deserved it 6 321

By Anonymous - 26/09/2011 18:52 - United States

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 092

You deserved it 3 583

Denial

By Loud - 08/09/2016 06:07 - Australia

Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 614

You deserved it 8 516

It's a gas gas gas

By Dani - 28/11/2011 12:34 - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 391

You deserved it 9 482

Gassed

By Anonymous - 20/07/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, I went clubbing. A girl I was dancing with leaned in with a disgusted expression and said, "God, it stinks! Someone keeps farting… I swear they've got IBS." It was me. I have IBS. I was farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 719

You deserved it 500

By mandygeegoesnom - 29/02/2012 05:30 - United States

Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 165

You deserved it 2 540

By Fartfail - 18/04/2012 13:43 - Hong Kong - Corozal

Today, while vacuuming my new apartment, I farted a few times. After my last fart, I turned to find my super-hot neighbor standing at the door. Panicking, I asked in a "I-didn't-just-fart-my-ass" tone, "Oh hi! Been standing there for long?" She replied, "Since your initial rip." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 813

You deserved it 6 784

Blame the pooch

By anamota89 - 11/05/2012 09:33 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 349

You deserved it 32 319

By Stinky and Single - 06/08/2015 23:14 - United States

Today, I was sitting in a secluded corner of a coffee shop and felt extremely gassy. Thinking I'd be safe, I let out a pretty nasty smelling fart. Next thing I know, a cute guy is approaching me and asked my name, but all it took was for him to inhale once and he bolted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 781

You deserved it 6 714

By Anonymous - 19/08/2014 21:54 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 973

You deserved it 11 830

Next

Top comments

jqmalang 17

Monday 28 September 2015 17:50

HAHAHAHA that was actually a great one from her! She saved you (:

curlytop101 23

Monday 28 September 2015 17:54

On the bright side, at least they know it wasn't actually you who did it

Comments

lmbachman 23

Monday 28 September 2015 20:05

Hahaha your girlfriend is AWESOME

exoticDeath 20

Monday 28 September 2015 20:07

At least she's honest. Saved your ass in the end anyway.

macdaddy85 5

Monday 28 September 2015 20:19

Fart proudly and especially in that blanket with her face it

Wer3Wolf3 16

Monday 28 September 2015 20:27

The most pathetic FML I have ever read...

worldclassrager 39

Monday 28 September 2015 20:38

Are you Shrek?

SpookDaddy 7

Monday 28 September 2015 20:40

Holy honkers!!!! Just fell on me arse!!!!!!! !!!!!11 good thing I had my safety vest

Goblin182 26

Monday 28 September 2015 20:55

totally awesome girlfriend

joshi42 16

Monday 28 September 2015 21:38

At least you have an alibi.

orios105 18

Monday 28 September 2015 21:54

so at least you didn't get blamed. lol

goaliestud30 23

Monday 28 September 2015 22:13

Don't be a puss ur wtb

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