Love, Lonely, Cooking and Miscellaneous: Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the...

By RawrSparkle - 21/09/2012 07:31 - United States - Davis

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 141

You deserved it 14 383

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Same thing different taste

By brittholzworth - 27/06/2019 20:00

Today, I found some cookies on my bed and got so excited that I kneed myself in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 180

You deserved it 747

Yummy

By Sisi - 29/08/2016 16:49 - United States - Mesa

Today, my roommate left a bomb looking package of cookies on the kitchen counter. My sweet tooth got the best of me and I made that split second decision of, "Oh, I'll just have one." Halfway through it, I noticed the fine print, "For dogs" on the package. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 522

You deserved it 11 356

Spice

By Anonymous - 07/04/2021 04:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 991

By Anonymous - 07/07/2011 22:52 - United States

Today, I helped myself to some homemade biscuits that had been left in the kitchen. I thought they looked a little odd, but they tasted pretty good. I found out later they were homemade dog treats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 507

You deserved it 30 668

Right place, wrong time

By Anonymous - 22/01/2009 16:09 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the couch, computer next to me, lotion on the floor, and my dick in my hand when my roommate walked in on me. Scared and looking me right in the face he says, "What's for dinner?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 216

You deserved it 29 868

Bon appétit, I guess

By Jenn86 - 18/08/2023 08:00 - United Kingdom - Leicester

Today, I tried my hand at baking homemade individual apple tarts. While taking them out of the oven, I dropped the entire tray on the floor. My dog acted like it was Christmas in August and scarfed at least half of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 163

The medium is the message

By adam - 15/02/2010 02:16 - United States

Today, I made heart-shaped cookies for my girlfriend. My mom's reaction? "They look like dicks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 154

You deserved it 4 228

By Doritos - 17/06/2010 08:06 - United States

Today, my room-mate came out of the bathroom, tossed a Playboy on the coffee table, threw away a used condom, dug his hand into my bag of Doritos, and washed his hands. In that order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 566

You deserved it 4 750

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 08/01/2016 21:57 - United States - Spring Valley

Today, I woke up early to bake cinnamon rolls for a party. I came home later to find the whole tray spilled onto the floor, most of the rolls eaten, and my dog sitting happily nearby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 831

You deserved it 4 656

By jessica - 02/02/2011 20:59 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 385

You deserved it 7 472

Lifeh8sme2 11

Friday 21 September 2012 12:04

I'm more curious as to why you had penis-shaped cookies.

ohcoolstorybro 14

Friday 21 September 2012 12:03

How many could you fit?

Comments

usmclm 12

Saturday 22 September 2012 16:42

I guess that makes you a **** gobbler. Or a cockie monster!

smokeloverrr 2

Saturday 22 September 2012 17:33

Why the **** would you bake peins shaped cookies home alone. ****.

shen351 1

Saturday 22 September 2012 17:35

Thaxton76 3

Saturday 22 September 2012 17:51

Wow that's dicked up.

Jessiejames337_fml 2

Saturday 22 September 2012 19:07

u ppl really have to ask that? cuz penis cookies r funny and who wouldnt love a good old , very large penis cookie? i know i would.. .lol

HunterAlpha1 8

Sunday 23 September 2012 4:49

wow, puts whole new meaning to the term "eat a dick". would it be safe for us to assume that you swallowed?

xoxoMEGANxoxo 13

Sunday 23 September 2012 16:06

Yum.

Gondile 4

Monday 24 September 2012 6:16

Where did your life go so wrong?

stitesy29 18

Tuesday 25 September 2012 4:05

And why were they penis shaped?

random365 0

Tuesday 25 September 2012 12:30

I don't know why but this story brought a smile to my face and I laughed a little. I think it's the way you said it. But one question why were you making dick shaped cookies that could be a fml in it self.