Intimacy, Awkward and Miscellaneous: Creepy

Creepy

By Anonymous - 17/10/2017 06:00 - United States

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 103

You deserved it 5 365

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By helpme - 15/07/2013 17:25 - Canada - Sudbury

Today, while waxing my bikini line, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me which caused me to close my legs. I am now sitting in the sink with my best friend pouring hot water "down there" trying to remove the wax. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 578

You deserved it 4 665

Why I did that?

By Anonymous - 29/02/2020 14:00

Today, I was trying to shave down there. I'm about 6 months pregnant, and I can't see past my belly. I ended up scaring the crap out of myself into thinking I was miscarrying until my baby kicked and I realized I had just accidentally cut myself with the razor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 408

You deserved it 860

By blahblah493 - 26/05/2011 04:15 - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom trying to wax her butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 114

You deserved it 6 648

By Anonymous - 02/06/2012 15:16 - United States - Clermont

Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 993

You deserved it 42 050

Oh, so sexy

By quarantine15 - 28/04/2020 14:00

Today, I tried to be sexy and asked my husband of 6 years if he wanted to "put a baby in me." He shook the recent belly fat I gained and asked, "Is there room for a baby in there?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 342

You deserved it 724

By blondessdoll - 04/05/2016 17:30 - United States

Today, when getting my eyebrows waxed, the lady cursed "oh shit!" under her breath, right after waxing half of my brow off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 845

You deserved it 1 111

By U_U - 20/10/2013 19:20 - United States

Today, my husband confessed his pregnancy fetish to me, and now wants me to wear a fake belly when we have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 152

You deserved it 5 148

Beauty standards

By Anonymous - 08/05/2023 03:00

Today, my boyfriend snuck up behind me while I was naked and whispered in my ear to bend over. I thought this was a lead up to doggy style but nope, he slapped a waxing strip on my exposed bum hole and ran off yelling, “No more hairy hole! No more hairy hole!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 770

You deserved it 562

Hairy situation

By Kelly - 02/03/2009 23:38 - United States

Today, I went to get my underarms waxed. I'm usually not self-conscious because I figure they see worse stuff all the time. When I raised my arm for her to wax my armpit she looked at me, laughed and said, "Well I guess that's how I know it's winter in Wisconsin!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 028

You deserved it 9 468

By she knows - 08/10/2013 16:30 - United States - Honolulu

Today, I was at my in-laws' house, and as I was walking to the living room I had my hands on the back of my hips supporting my back. My mother-in-law told me to stop because it makes me look pregnant. I'm 9 months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 222

You deserved it 3 306

JustKittyKat 24

Tuesday 2 October 2012 11:46

Attempt to be social and funny: fail. Initiate plan B; Silently rip off stranger's pubic hair.

surfbumblonde 7

Tuesday 2 October 2012 11:49

The word "snatch" lives up to its two meanings here.

Comments

tj4234 35

Tuesday 17 October 2017 14:08

"Today someone with a sense of humour tried to joke with me. FML"

BadKitty13 28

Tuesday 17 October 2017 15:24

W.T.F. That's creepy as hell ......

Talented73 54

Tuesday 17 October 2017 18:11

The waxer for the instructions confused. OP said to baby her snatch, not snatch her baby.

Harm Varwijk 17

Tuesday 17 October 2017 19:13

said the bacterias that can crawl up and damage your baby. some people are really stupid.

Chris Smith 9

Tuesday 17 October 2017 23:29

If her jokes were funny she wouldn't be pulling strangers pubic hair off for money.

slice109_fml 7

Wednesday 18 October 2017 3:16

jlgg

Duskyb 12

Wednesday 18 October 2017 4:07

what kind of person ever thinks a comment like that is funny..

Tina Marie 3

Wednesday 18 October 2017 18:45

that's just creepy

TheHillfam84 7

Thursday 19 October 2017 5:55

Uuummmmm..................... What!?

Just Some Dood 6

Thursday 19 October 2017 20:43

who gets a ******* wax while pregnant. You called HER weird and innapropriate?

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I'm in the hospital because I sliced my leg open. Why? I jumped off my bed and scratched myself on the metal bed frame when Miss America was crowned to Miss Virginia. I'm 20 years old, and a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 465

You deserved it 34 592

Today, while driving extremely fast on a road in the middle of nowhere, I started to go down a hill. Noticing a police car at the bottom, I slammed my brakes and blew a tire in the process. It turns out the police car was an old cutout used to trick people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 361

You deserved it 57 801

Today, I tried to be sexy and asked my husband of 6 years if he wanted to "put a baby in me." He shook the recent belly fat I gained and asked, "Is there room for a baby in there?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 342

You deserved it 724

Today, my wife helped herself to an energy drink at 7pm, because she "felt tired", and yelled at me when I told her not to. All night, all I heard was, "Babe, I can't sleep. I'm restless. Talk to me. Babe, you're sleeping and I feel lonely. Hey babe what are you thinking about? What's going through your head?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 642

You deserved it 73

Today, I was subpoenaed on behalf of my mother-in-law. My husband said if I didn't defend her and consequently lie under oath, our marriage is over. She said, "I can get rid of two problems in one day!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 811

You deserved it 768

Today, a wheelchair-bound kid in my study hall dropped one of his textbooks on the ground and he couldn't reach it. When I noticed, I stopped what I was doing to go pick it up for him. The problem is, he sits right in front of the door, so I got yelled at for "trying to leave class without permission." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 267

You deserved it 125