All the FMLs

Paranoid

By Anonymous - 11/01/2023 22:30 - India - Thane

Today, some person I don't even know called me a scammer on my Facebook, and my mutual friends, who know my actual "GPS coordinates" blocked me before bothering to hear my side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 162

Kitchen nightmare

By Anonymous - 11/01/2023 13:00 - Iceland

Today, I made a casserole to use up the green beans I've had sitting unused in the fridge for over a week. I went out and bought all the ingredients, prepared them, and left them in the slow cooker for 4 hours before dinner. At no point in this did I remember to add the beans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 719

You deserved it 382

He's a keeper

By Anonymous - 11/01/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, I got the news that my ex-boyfriend from two years ago died in a car crash. My fiancé found me crying in the living room when he came home from work. When he found out why I was inconsolable, he said, "Make sure you say hi to that abusive turd in hell for me, thanks for everything." He is now staying at a hotel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 867

You deserved it 1 633

Not the rugby team!

By Anonymous - 11/01/2023 10:00

Today, at dinner, I stumbled over the words of the prayer and my dad is now convinced I’m losing interest in my religious responsibilities. To “bring me back to the Lord” he is trying to force me to break up with my girlfriend and quit the rugby team. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 108

You deserved it 147

Sweet relief

By best_mom_ever - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Mount Juliet

Today, my husband and I decided to tell our sixteen-year-old daughter that she's adopted. Her response was, "Thank God!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 290

You deserved it 6 962

The one where they all bore my **** off

By new topic please! - 11/01/2023 06:00

Today, my boyfriend doesn’t understand why I don’t care too much for his friend group. He’s pretty mid, but the rest of them are hardcore republicans. It’s not their beliefs that get me, it’s the fact that they’re completely incapable of talking about anything other than politics. I’m so bored! FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 341

It's a doggy dog world

By FMWLife - 11/01/2023 02:00

Today, my 13 year-old daughter took our French Bulldog puppy out to pee. She left him out there and went back inside the house. She didn’t know she had to let him back in and thought he would bark at the door when he was done. It’s been two hours and he’s nowhere to be found. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 040

You deserved it 331

It's not

By Anonymous - 11/01/2023 00:00

Today, a guy I met online cancelled meeting me for the second time. The first time was because of work, and this time because of a game. I don't understand why was i even looking forward to meeting him, and I feel like it's all my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 884

You deserved it 156

Chud's Diner

By Frany - 10/01/2023 22:00

Today, my now-ex boyfriend treated our waitress like shit. She was a young lady who just came from Venezuela and barely spoke English. He gave her no tip, ranted about “fixing this goddamn border problem” along with xenophobic slurs. Apparently, he’d forgotten I’m an immigrant too, from Colombia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 384

You deserved it 167

Girl Bossing

By annie - 10/01/2023 11:00 - United States

Today, I was told I would also be covering some of my boss's shifts next week. She gets to go on a vacation to Europe with the bonus we earned her last year. That's why she was tightening our deadlines to the point where some of the employees had to hire babysitters for their children so we could stay at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020

You deserved it 139

Bad idea

By 315 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I drank a good amount of vodka and cut my own hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 726

You deserved it 46 610

Not worth our time

By Anonymous - 10/01/2023 16:00

Today, my grandparents told me they couldn't make it to my college graduation, even with months in advance to plan, because they had their annual Mother's Day plans with friends. Plans they've had every year, and are further away. This was the only time I'll ever have a graduation ceremony. My grandpa is my last biological grandparent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 974

You deserved it 168

Rubbing it in

By Anonymous - 10/01/2023 14:00

Today, my soon-to-be-ex emailed me a pic of them with the person whom they left me for. After I didn't respond, they called just to say, "Fuck off and die." Four days previously, I got laid off from my job. I'm getting too old for this stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 075

You deserved it 116

Leech

By Anonymous - 10/01/2023 05:00 - United States

Today, I realized my habit of asking people for money came to an all time high when I asked a girl to Cash App me $5 through Instagram. She literally sent me A PENNY, said, “Quit fucking asking me for money fam” and then blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 2 043

I was the bullet in the relationship

By Anonymous - 10/01/2023 10:00

Today, for the first time in two years, I met my ex-girlfriend. I was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 370

A for effort

By fishoutofwater - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Radcliff

Today, in an attempt to broaden my horizons in another sport besides swimming, I succeeded in getting a frisbee spiked into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 367

You deserved it 1 661

God don't pay my bills

By Anonymous - 10/01/2023 00:00

Today, I told my fiancé that I don’t believe in God, so I won’t be going to church anymore because I’ll be picking up the Sunday shift at work. I don’t have a fiancé anymore because I’m, “a godless heathen who will burn for eternity.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 446

You deserved it 565

Poor boy

By Cone of STFU - 09/01/2023 21:00

Today, my recently-neutered dog has to wear the cone of shame for several weeks. The sounds he makes when he's being rambunctious are now augmented even further by the sound of the cone scraping and bashing against everything. I tell you, it's so much more annoying than it sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 794

You deserved it 219

Alexa, play "Isolation" by Joy Division

By Anonymous - 09/01/2023 18:00

Today, my son has always been antisocial but ever since he bought his first house he has seemingly disappeared behind it’s walls, never lets anybody visit, and has broken off contact with everybody he knows. Were it not for his coworkers telling me he’s at work everyday, I’d think he was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 806

You deserved it 437

They targeted gamers

By DSK - 09/01/2023 15:00

Today, my girlfriend once again insisted that she didn't have a problem with my gaming. Considering that every day I find my PC desk covered in junk, and all my consoles disconnected, somehow I don't think she's telling the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 840

You deserved it 318

Awkward phrasing

By Anonymous - 09/01/2023 12:00

Today, a blind guy asked me out, but since I'm already in a relationship I politely declined, saying, "Sorry, I'm already seeing someone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 830

You deserved it 257

Good doggo

By Alittlebitiffy - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I spent an hour pulling poop-covered prickles out of my husky's butt. A duck had startled him while he was doing his business and his first thought was to run, mid-poop, into a prickle bush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 856

You deserved it 831

Sounds like a promoted post

By Anonymous - 09/01/2023 03:00

Today, while I was playing Walkabout Mini Golf on my Meta Quest headset, my battery ran low. I plugged it in the slot, only to learn a valuable lesson about three hours later: The headset doesn't charge if you leave it on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 254

You deserved it 1 005

GHOSTS!

By WTF - 09/01/2023 00:00

Today, I was woken up by my TV falling down. Good news: It still works. Bad news: I don't know how it happened, so I'm worried it could happen again at any time and potentially break for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 614

You deserved it 808

Slippery season

By Anonymous - 08/01/2023 15:00 - United States

Today, I accidentally slipped on a wet floor at my local mall after copious amounts of snow. There was no sign. I accidentally hit a lady trying to help me when falling backwards and gave her a bloody nose. I am now banned from the mall for two weeks and told I was lucky she didn’t press charges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 958

You deserved it 901

Wait til you're 50

By Seriously - 08/01/2023 11:00 - United States

Today, I've reached the age where I get really dizzy and my vision blurs if I stand up too fast. I'm 19 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 224

Social pariah

By Anonymous - 08/01/2023 12:00

Today, I talked to exactly 0.0 people on Christmas, 0.0 people on New Year's, and I just checked my phone: The last call I received from anyone other than work or my tenant was October 29th. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 712

Warning signs

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, my therapist recommended that I start seeing a psychiatrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 516

You deserved it 1 251

I'm the main character!

By Singer - 08/01/2023 03:00

Today, I found out why my friends don’t invite me to Karaoke Thursday Nights anymore. Apparently, I act like a “show off” and “presumptuous” and make the others feel bad. It’s not my fault I have a decent singing voice. I guess they don’t like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 1 628

All over the place

By Anonymous - 08/01/2023 00:00

Today, my ADHD has gotten so bad that I called my son by my brother’s name, bumped heads with my 2 year-old, and just now went to sit back down on the couch next to husband and accidentally elbowed him in the eye so badly that he went to sleep because he was so angry with me. Praying he doesn’t have a black eye tomorrow.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 1 047

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I was called selfish for complaining about COVID lockdowns. Thanks to lockdowns, my family's restaurant has been permanently closed, I've burned through all my savings, and we are going to lose our house. I guess being upset about my family's plight is selfish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 304

You deserved it 185

Today, I was having a pleasant jog, that is until I was struck by the terrible feeling of an oncoming turd. Being only about 20 minutes from home, I thought I could make it back without letting the beast out. I was so wrong. The only thing I'm grateful for is that I was carrying the Sunday paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 529

You deserved it 3 676

Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 452

You deserved it 4 442

Today, as my lame excuse to not give a guy I met at a club my phone number, I told him I didn't have a cell phone. Guess what I checked when he asked me what time it was a few minutes later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 362

You deserved it 54 835

Today, while working at my job in a luxury retail store, a woman left me a business card. It was for a plastic surgeon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 809

You deserved it 234

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said, "Can't, bigamy's illegal." I still don't know if she was joking or not, because she keeps changing the subject whenever I mention it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 986

You deserved it 3 077