All the FMLs

I'm outta here

By Anonymous - 04/04/2023 18:00 - Australia

Today, I was dating someone who completely believed cyborgs killed his family, although they are very much alive. He also faked having relationships a couple of times, and last but not least he pretended to be someone else he was stalking in real life for 3 years. I only found this out after I broke up with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 141

Welcome home

By evilsandwich - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Canada - London

Today, after house-sitting for a week, I came home to find the house in which I rent a basement suite has all but burned to the ground. My landlord didn't even bother to tell me about the fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 732

You deserved it 2 193

Strike while the iron is hot

By Hatim - 04/04/2023 08:00 - United Arab Emirates - Sharjah

Today, I had an appointment with my dentist to check for cavities. He told me that most of my teeth have cavities, and that I may need a root canal. In fact, I ended up actually getting a painful root canal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 198

Ditch him

By Anonymous - 03/04/2023 20:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I got blown off by my “exclusive partner” on the night of my birthday supper, only to find out he went on a Tinder date with my friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 139

No time to be joking around

By Anonymous - 03/04/2023 19:00 - United States - Omaha

Today, I had to have two stents removed from having kidney stones, so I was strapped down to a table. The doctors were guys. I said, "I’ve had this dream before, but you two weren’t in it." I didn’t realize the female nurse was still there. It took them quite a while to stop laughing before they started.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 622

You deserved it 373

Bribery

By disneydummy - 04/04/2023 00:00

Today, my overly religious family told me that if I, an atheist, went to church with them, they’d buy me a season pass to Disneyland. I dutifully sat through the entire two hour sermon. I didn’t get the tickets. They lied to get me into church, but don’t see the irony of lying being a sin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 463

You deserved it 287

Vigilante

By Anonymous - 03/04/2023 22:00

Today, I got called to my son's school again because he punched a girl. Every time he gets in a fight, he justifies it by saying he only hits bullies he catches hurting other kids. His teachers even agree he only hits the bullies like that girl, but it’s becoming a huge problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 923

You deserved it 155

Be warned

By what... - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - North Port

Today, my boss took me to one side and said, "Cross me like that ever again, and you're fired." I still have no clue what he was talking about, and now he denies ever having said a word to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 318

You deserved it 2 888

Workaholic

By Anonymous - 03/04/2023 18:00

Today, on our honeymoon, I found out my husband brought his work laptop with him. We were supposed to go scuba diving but he skipped it for virtual meetings, then sat on his laptop until 2 a.m. He then had the nerve to be confused about why I’m mad at him and just want to go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 128

You deserved it 151

Living conditions

By To you? Hard fucking pass - 03/04/2023 08:00 - United States - Collegeville

Today, like every other day, my mother, who I live with due to circumstances outside my control, harasses me every twenty minutes and generally treats me like her personal slave. When I dared complain, she had the audacity to tell me I’m lucky to “live a life of service.” Yeah, fuck you too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 886

You deserved it 193

Worst prank ever

By Anonymous - 03/04/2023 06:00 - Canada - Dollard-des-Ormeaux

Today, to be kind, I gave away my tickets for an electronic music event I could no longer attend to a Facebook stranger. Later, they told me they were refused at the door. Turns out the pdf I'd received from the ticketing system contained some placeholder values and invalid QR data. And this happened on April 1st. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 154

Been there before

By OopsieDoopsie - 03/04/2023 04:00 - United States - Ridgewood

Today, I'm so chronically sleep-deprived that I sprayed a bathroom air freshener under my arms instead of my deodorant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 647

You deserved it 202

Classic prank

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at Burger King, I had to go to the bathroom. Two ketchup packets were under the seat and exploded on my legs and pants when I sat down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 544

You deserved it 6 164

Caught in 4K

By Anonymous - 03/04/2023 13:00 - South Korea - Suwon

Today, my girlfriend caught me using Tinder behind her back and now she wants to break up with me. I begged her to stay, but now we're kinda in between a friendship and a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 2 724

Cars suck

By Lexa Keery - 03/04/2023 04:00

Today, my second car overheated after having it for like 6 months. Right after getting a new job. It’s currently stuck on the side of the highway, and I have no money to get it towed or fixed. Every time I think things are gonna be okay, they aren’t. FML

I agree, your life sucks 970

You deserved it 114

Overcompensating

By Anonymous - 03/04/2023 02:00

Today, my wife has been going to a "women's group" for the last couple of months. She now refuses to do anything around the house, blatantly spoils our daughter, and talks to our son like he's mentally incompetent. She insists that she's just "reclaiming her power" but it makes everyone else miserable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 449

You deserved it 249

High times

By Anonymous - 03/04/2023 00:00

Today, I got a call from my brother, saying he was losing his mind at work and did not feel well. I went to pick him up. Turns out he decided to try weed for the first time at work and was high AF. Now I'm the little brother babysitting a 35 year-old man child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 963

You deserved it 114

You OK?

By erin1985 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I was out on a date with a guy. I leaned down to get something out of my bag and hit my head on some protruding concrete. I said I was fine. Then blood came running down my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 533

You deserved it 2 984

Sanity

By Anonymous - 02/04/2023 16:00

Today, my wife has cancer but rather than go to hospital like a sane person, she has started going to church as often as possible, even though in the history of mankind I can’t remember a single instance where praying to some statue with a cross has ever cured cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 109

You deserved it 1 154

It's gonna eat me!

By Anonymous - 02/04/2023 14:00

Today, my boyfriend told me he had a catphobia, but I forgot to tell him my mom has a new kitten, so when we went round he freaked out so much trying to escape this tiny kitten following him, it reminded me very much of Captain Hook trying to escape being eaten by the crocodile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 709

Bad news

By Ghostrui - 02/04/2023 12:00

Today, the dentist told me I needed to have two of my wisdom teeth on opposite ends of my mouth pulled. I suppose a liquid diet won't be all that bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 156

Homestuck

By Alex - 02/04/2023 01:00 - United States - Irvine

Today, I was doing homework when had to leave to help my family out with chores. I didn't mind it of course, but it turns out I could get signed out of the science homework site, and now have no way to sign back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 124

Broke

By Pauper - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I talked myself out of buying $1 candle at the Dollar Tree. That's how broke I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 351

You deserved it 4 482

Depression 2023

By Anonymous - 01/04/2023 22:00 - United States - Providence

Today, I was finally alone for the first time in a year. I thought I'd go to a restaurant, but ended up getting there before they opened. While waiting, I listened to music, only to end up crying for several minutes because I haven't had a girlfriend since 2010, and never will again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 302

The cat's out of the bag

By Anonymous - 02/04/2023 12:00 - Australia - Taren Point

Today, my partner's mother and I had been planning a little surprise get-together for his birthday. A surprise weeks in the making was ruined by my dad asking, "Aren't you supposed to be going to (his parent's town name) this afternoon?" in front of him. Thanks dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 845

You deserved it 144

Bit on the side

By Anonymous - 01/04/2023 17:00 - United States - Portland

Today my boyfriend left his camera with me. I wanted to see the recent photos we took at the park next to my house. I scrolled through and found pictures of him and his ex-girlfriend the weekend before at the same park, posing under the same tree we had taken a photo. We've been together for a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 076

You deserved it 136

Pity party cancelled

By Anonymous - 02/04/2023 04:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, and every single time someone I actually feel comfortable with comes into my life, I end up fucking everything up. Whenever they don't reply, I won't for a while too, just to see if they'll check on me but they never do. Am I really that shitty? Is it so bad that I want to feel wanted? FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 685

Great expectations

By sheryl_m - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I came home expecting a surprise party. It was my birthday and I had overheard my friends planning it all week. Nobody was there. It turns out the party they were planning was for my friend's dog's birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 824

You deserved it 4 664

Bailed out

By Anonymous - 01/04/2023 18:00

Today, I’ve been texting a guy from my old college and we finally arranged a date. I told him it would have to fit my daughter's schedule and his interest in me vanished. Apparently I never mentioned having a kid and have wasted his time. I literally have text messages to him all about her. Prick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 303

Oh bless, sweet summer child

By Anonymous - 01/04/2023 14:00

Today, my sister-in-law and I discussed what men like our husbands do at a bachelor party. I thought of beer, sports, and a strip club. Her version included church, wrestling (she believes they're former high school athletes), and sleeping together in the den (they’re 28 and in his own home). She was offended by my answers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 773

You deserved it 147

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I fell asleep at my boyfriend’s house and missed my curfew. It’s almost 4 a.m. Scrambling, I arrived home to find the locks changed. On the door knob was a note: “Go live with your boyfriend, you slut. See if he cooks and cleans up after you. I’ll help you move out your stuff in the morning. - Mom” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 919

You deserved it 407

Today, I spent an hour in a snowstorm waiting for my bus to show up. After I got fed up, I decided to just clean off my car and drive to work. After I was halfway finished swiping off the snow and ice stuck to my car, the bus drove right past me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 495

You deserved it 4 413

Today, I pulled up to a party with my friends. I never partied in high school and college due to being bullied, so I was excited for my first party. It turned out to be a college house party, I'm a little older by 3 years but it’s no big deal. They mistook me for a freshman and I was bullied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 158

Today, I was carrying a hot cup of noodles. I sneezed and accidentally stabbed myself in the forehead with a fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 508

You deserved it 5 589

Today, I was at a Christmas party when I noticed someone had taken all of the cash I had from out of my wallet. It was a family gathering. I'm related to the culprit but have no idea who it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 510

You deserved it 3 235

Today, I finally tested out my new robot vacuum cleaner. My puppy decided she would test it out too by leaving a brown surprise for it to find, which it did. There are now brown marks in every room of the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 020

You deserved it 1 676