All the FMLs

Ongoing situation

By Anonymous - 08/11/2025 00:00

Today, I'm not showing any symptoms of Covid, despite visiting with a friend three days ago whose family tested positive yesterday, but my stepmom is still convinced I have it. I checked a Cleveland clinic website to prove I didn't have it, only to find out I could be asymptomatic for up to ten days after exposure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 499

I'm so tired

By Anonymous - 07/11/2025 22:00

Today, my husband yelled at me for asking him to get the kids ready for school after he got off work. He works overnights, so I figured that since he's already awake, he can help out, since I'm not a morning person at all. Apparently he needs sleep "IMMEDIATELY" once he gets off work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 700

Panic!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Marsing

Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 794

You deserved it 12 443

Motherly odor

By Anonymous - 07/11/2025 15:00

Today, my daughter said, “Mommy, you’re my favorite person!” Then she added, “Because you smell like mac and cheese.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 116

One happy family

By Anonymous - 07/11/2025 12:00

Today, I realized whether it's my father, step-bro/sis and even my own mom don't care what happens to me. I stayed away from drugs, have a marriage that is great and kids I love, but none of them can look at me in any way because I have my father's blood. They have no idea I'm extremely suicidal, because I'm quiet about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 106

Average "alternative medicine" enjoyer

By Anonymous - 07/11/2025 09:00

Today, after I unfortunately woke up too early and too quietly at my new-ish boyfriend's place (we've been together for about a month), I walked into his bathroom to discover that he's one of those freaks who drinks his own piss every morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 526

You deserved it 91

911 is a joke

By Lauren Smith - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I came home from work. I was really tired and told my son that I would make him dinner later. He called the cops saying, "Mommy won't feed me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 722

You deserved it 6 264

Take the help you can get

By Anonymous - 07/11/2025 03:00

Today, I realized that no matter what kind of mental break, even just needing someone to vent to about night terrors and fears, my husband and mom will threaten to call a 72h psych hold on me if I so much as cry or be emotional at all. Then they'll forget me for two weeks and say "it's not a big deal." It makes someone want to die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 115

Pride and joy

By Anonymous - 07/11/2025 00:00

Today, my toddler finally used the potty for the first time. I was so excited, I FaceTimed my mom to show her. My kid then proudly picked up the potty bowl and dumped it on my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 174

You deserved it 382

Serious business

By Anonymous - 06/11/2025 22:00

Today, I showed up for a Tinder date. I sat there for 45 minutes, waiting. Finally, I messaged her to ask if she was coming. She replied, “Oh no, I wasn’t serious. You just seemed polite. I didn’t think you’d actually show up.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 63

Heartbreak Hotel

By pixiegirl - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out that the "secret admirer" I've been exchanging letters with for the last three months, and even started developing feelings for, is actually my ex best friend trying to pull a prank on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 310

You deserved it 6 895

Kids pick up stuff you say

By Embarrassed mom - 06/11/2025 15:00

Today, after a long, tedious and annoying wait in line at the supermarket, my 5-year-old told the cashier, “Mommy says you’re too slow.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 381

Spiders the size of trucks

By Anonymous - 06/11/2025 12:00

Today, I was about to leave for work when I sneezed over and over. I quickly checked the mirror to see if any mascara had smudged, only to see a big black spider crawling up my neck. No, this wasn’t a dream. Yes, this really did happen (I live in Australia). FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 89

Small talk hell

By Kellie - 06/11/2025 09:00

Today, I told my boss her new haircut made her look younger. She smiled and said, “Oh, thank you!” I tried to double down on the compliment and said, “Yeah, like... 20 years ago younger!” She stopped smiling. It turns out that would’ve made her twelve. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 513

Safety test

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I learned how to use a fire extinguisher. Too bad it was on my brand new oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 351

You deserved it 4 450

Naughty boy

By Anonymous - 06/11/2025 03:00

Today, I was walking my dog when I tripped on the leash, dropping his treat bag. He snatched one, looked at me, and ran full speed in the opposite direction. I had to chase him for three blocks, yelling his name. He thought it was a new game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 154

Control

By Anonymous - 06/11/2025 00:00

Today, my boss continued to orchestrate behind the scenes with my colleagues to make me look bad for her lack of organization. Then she showed up 10 minutes late to a meeting, shared that she needed a vacation, and realized that she needed to micromanage less. I've been asking her to make that change for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 90

Thoughts and prayers

By Broke babe - 05/11/2025 20:00

Today, at a family dinner, I mentioned I was worried about money and my job. My rich grandmother decided to announce that she'd pray for me. Thanks, Gran, I'm sure talking to Magic Sky Wizard will be more helpful than just forking over some cash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 178

You deserved it 777

Curious minds

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Pratt

Today, I told my boyfriend the dentist said my blood pressure was high. He was more interested in the fact that the dentist took my blood pressure than my blood pressure being high. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 793

You deserved it 10 875

Spooky season ain't over

By Brendon - 05/11/2025 15:00

Today, I came home and heard the shower running. Assuming my roommate was in there, I yelled, “Don’t use up all the hot water!” Then my roommate walked in with groceries. I froze. The shower stopped. The bathroom was empty. Now I have to move out or start charging rent to a ghost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 97

Panic on the number 29

By I tried - 05/11/2025 12:00

Today, I sneezed on the bus. My AirPods fell out and rolled under the seat of the person in front of me. I awkwardly reached down to grab them just as the bus hit a bump. I accidentally grabbed the person’s ankle instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 115

Why not both?

By Christine - 05/11/2025 09:00

Today, my 6 year-old daughter saw me putting on makeup and asked, “Mommy, are you trying to look less tired or more alive?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 120

Thanks, I hate it

By Heretique - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Norway

Today, we had to evaluate each other in class. Apparently I'm a quarrelsome, uncommitted, commanding bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 643

You deserved it 35 724

Charming dude

By HittingDaGymNow - 05/11/2025 03:00

Today, my now-ex boyfriend said that his dream girl has big breasts. When I pointed out that I have big breasts, he told me that, “But you’re plus-sized, that don’t count. I’m talking 'bout girls with hourglass figures, not big back bitches.” Nice to know that’s how he felt about me this whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 161

Bad timing

By Anonymous - 05/11/2025 00:00

Today, I did a massive sneeze, felt something pop, and blew out a hernia the size of a football. I was childminding three young kids at the time and I think they’re traumatised because the parents withdrew two of them the same day it happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 66

Bothered

By Disgusted - 04/11/2025 22:00

Today, my little sister brought home her new boyfriend. He has an impressive job and is very charming and attractive. Apparently I'm the only one slightly bothered by the fact that he's 35 and she's 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 135

Keep the change

By hatemylife - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a group of Girl Scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought two bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 430

You deserved it 7 074

Bigfoot

By Anonymous - 04/11/2025 15:00

Today, I went for a walk in my brand new shoes that I bought around four days ago. I've always had problems walking on my right foot and when I was younger we couldn't buy Payless shoes as they'd be torn to pieces within a month. The left shoe felt perfectly fine; the right one feels like it's already disintegrating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 84

HSR FML

By ZelWinters1981 - 04/11/2025 12:00

Today, I applied for the health and safety representative role at work as an add-on to my role. I convinced a co-worker to put his name down along with mine so I wasn't the only one. He didn't want it so much, and it went to a vote… which I lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 416

Culture wars

By Anonymous - 04/11/2025 09:00

Today, to get revenge on our kids for constantly annoying her with that "6, 7" bullshit, my wife has decided to speak only in 90s slang and Pauly Shore quotes. I feel like I haven’t had a normal conversation in weeks! I’m losing my fucking mind! FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 102

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my daughter and her boyfriend deliberately got pregnant, because they found out if she claimed to be a single mom, she could get a council house and free benefits, and then just move him in with her. They're both 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 732

You deserved it 288

Today, the DMV told me I had to pay a $39 "renewal" fee for a mistake they made. After over an hour of waiting, they printed a license without a Real ID star like my previous one. Then they tried to blame me for not asking for one. I didn't have time to resolve this two weeks ago, and now Pennsylvania says it's my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 106

Today, I texted my girlfriend and told her I was mowing my lawn. She responded, "It's about time, it keeps getting caught in my teeth!" I was referring to the lawn outside of my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 289

You deserved it 54 448

Today, I found out that getting caught in a barbed wire fence isn't as bad as it sounds. Running through a forest at night, tripping over one, rolling down an embankment, and getting swiped by a car, however, is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 299

You deserved it 7 406

Today, I made chicken noodle soup for the girl I've been seeing to help her get over her cold. From scratch. Everything fresh save for the canned chicken stock. It took an hour in preparation and half an hour to take the bus to her place. Her first words? The celery's not cooked enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 178

You deserved it 6 383

Today, my dog played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 530

You deserved it 7 077