All the FMLs

Trauma dumping

By WHYWORLDWHY - 26/05/2023 21:00 - Canada - Milton

Today, my father forced me to go to therapy, then dumped out everything I made there into our sink. Apparently, I'm "not a batshit crazy psycho who needed to go to therapy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 623

You deserved it 114

Avoidance

By Anonymous - 26/05/2023 22:00

Today, some of my relatives are staying over. My husband was late from work, so I rang him. Apparently, he remembers the family drama and the screaming matches from last time, so he’s checked himself into a hotel until my circus of an extended family are gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 1 258

Basic bitch

By snarly1 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boss asked me what language I was speaking. I was clearly speaking English, but apparently, "indifferent" is too big a word for him to understand. I don't know how he got into a management position. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 453

You deserved it 2 189

Countdown

By Anonymous - 27/05/2023 02:00 - Australia

Today, I took my regular shit, like clockwork. Same time, every single day. Unfortunately, that time is midnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 665

You deserved it 143

Who's the boss?

By m…… - 26/05/2023 12:00

Today, one of my managers explained to me, very slowly and loudly, what a pallet jack is for. I've been at the warehouse for 6 months now and was actively using a pallet jack at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 714

You deserved it 108

Don't bet on it

By Anonymous - 26/05/2023 10:00

Today, and for a few days, I've been sick, vomiting, with fever from a stomach bug. I was in the middle of a figure skating competition when it happened. I had just won and was gearing up for day two. I also just lost a best friend after they asked me to throw the competition and I declined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 800

You deserved it 99

Naturewatch

By thelarkscaw - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I thought I saw a woodchuck far out in my yard. I wanted to take a cool picture of it so I slowly crept closer and closer to it. I spent half an hour sneaking up on a log. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 351

You deserved it 54 057

Gold digger

By Anonymous - 25/05/2023 21:00 - United States - Moscow

Today, I asked my boyfriend to help me with groceries, since the last of my money went to last week's groceries. His response was to start a fight, then tell me it's my fault my daughter acts the way she does, which is when he finally got me to break down and cry. I'm pregnant with his kid, and I also pay 90% of our bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 1 005

Or so you thought…

By Anonymous - 25/05/2023 21:00 - United States - Kenton

Today, my mom called me by the wrong name. This isn't the first time. It wouldn't be so bad, except I'm her only kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 760

You deserved it 99

He'll get used to it

By Anonymous - 26/05/2023 00:02

Today, I knew my husband was struggling mentally with being a new dad, but I had no idea how much until I found he had set an 18 year timer on his computer entitled, “Not long to go, you can make it!” Our son is only 6 days old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 867

You deserved it 207

Piss off

By Anonymous - 25/05/2023 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my horrible parents turned up to the restaurant I work at just to mess with me. Dad forgot his wallet, what a surprise, and asked me to pay the bill. I refused so my manager got involved. My dad got arrested, I got fired and might lose my lousy flat if I’m late on the rent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 078

You deserved it 1 127

Pay attention

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I started speaking gibberish in the middle of the conversation with my mom to see if she would notice. She didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 659

You deserved it 3 237

/r/nothingeverhappens/

By Fuck off! - 25/05/2023 11:00 - United States

Today, I told a story about a new mother naming her daughter after the first thing she saw moments after she was born. The group admins accused me of lying, with absolutely zero proof, and deleted the post. The story is 100% true. My mother and I witnessed it with our own two eyes and ears. Fuck these people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 660

You deserved it 212

Paging Taylor Swift

By Anonymous - 25/05/2023 15:00

Today, my mom ambushed me with my cheating ex-fiancé, thinking being in the same room would miraculously change the past and we’d get back together. When I tried to walk out, my mom screamed like a banshee and latched onto my leg. After this I’m putting her in a retirement home and never visiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 99

Don't know, don't care

By Fuck you too, Grandma - 25/05/2023 05:00 - United States

Today, my mom told me that on my graduation day, the reason she (and my dad) almost didn't show up was because they had to spend almost an hour convincing my grandma to attend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 121

Welcome home!

By jeoak - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - India

Today, I was moving into my new apartment. The previous owner had refused to move out until today, and when I got there, I realized I didn't have a key. I was about to call him when I found out I didn't need to; he took the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 130

You deserved it 2 334

Don't back down, double down

By Anonymous - 25/05/2023 00:00 - United States - Atlanta

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, and my heart is shattered to pieces. The worst part is we are supposed to go on vacation together in a week, and neither of us is backing out, or giving the other the room, so it looks like we’ll be staying together on vacation for 11 days straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 713

You deserved it 267

Bad Brains

By Anonymous - 25/05/2023 03:00

Today, I'm apparently on a "thinking ban." My wife and kids have banned me from starting any sentence with, “I think“ because it always leads to some sort of disaster, or accident, or expensive mistake, etc. So I'm no longer allowed to think because me thinking is dangerous for everybody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 866

Bees, wasps, that sort of thing

By HURRY UP - 24/05/2023 17:02 - United States

Today, I was waiting in the car for my roommate to come outside so we could get to work. He was taking his sweet ass time. And there was a large wasp flying around. And I have a fear of bees. And the window refused to roll up. I sat there, frozen in fear, until he finally came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 238

You chose, you lose

By Momtobe2007 - 24/05/2023 22:00

Today, my parents told me that since I'm old enough to want to keep my baby, I have 30 days to find a place to live. I'm 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 674

You deserved it 1 443

Einstürzende Neubauten

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, the two government buildings on either side of my apartment both started renovations. It will be about two months of constant banging as they cut and put up the steel on both sites. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 964

You deserved it 323

You must conform!

By a disabled man with big hands - 24/05/2023 11:00 - United States

Today, my boss got mad at me for not wearing the gloves I'm provided at work. They're way too small, not to mention the fact that I have a disability which makes it even harder to put them on. What do you expect me to do? FML

I agree, your life sucks 631

You deserved it 182

Needy old man

By Anonymous - 24/05/2023 20:00 - Australia

Today, it's been 3 days since my 95 year-old grandfather got a Vital Call (a big red button to call someone in an emergency). As I live close by, I'm one of the main contacts. I've been called over 6 times, most recently at 1:30 a.m. because he couldn't pull his pants up. He needs to be in a nursing home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 812

You deserved it 108

Promises, promises

By Anonymous - 24/05/2023 10:00

Today, after my ex had promised his mother he’d give something from her estate to my kids when she died, so she never bothered to change her will to include them, and she died a few weeks ago so I asked him about it because my eldest is going to university soon. He laughed in my face and shut the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 730

You deserved it 318

Small world

By budapesthungary - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at my job as a cake decorator in a bakery, I put the finishing touches on the wedding cake of the man who left me at the altar 3 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 857

You deserved it 2 898

Telepathy?

By So tired - 24/05/2023 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my incredibly needy rescue cat - who knows she doesn't get to go into my bedroom at night - decided that she needed to wail and scratch the bedroom door from midnight until 5 a.m. Now that I'm awake, she's ignoring me because she knows I'm mad at her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 570

You deserved it 388

F is for Family

By Anonymous - 23/05/2023 23:02 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I had to break off all contact with my toxic ex and my even more toxic adult daughter, for my mental health and suicidal urges. My elderly parents, who don’t think mental health is a thing, not only took their side, they’re taking me out of their will and putting my daughter in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865

You deserved it 208

Get lost

By Anonymous - 23/05/2023 15:00 - United States - Columbus

Today, a customer violently ranted how people in Latin America are "nothing but filth" compared to the “clean, civilized” people of "Anglo countries like Australia and New Zealand." All because I told him that flash photography is not permitted. If that’s not bad enough, the police were unwilling to do anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 157

Ninjas are everywhere

By Nancy - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I came home and noticed that sometime while I was at school, someone had cut off half of my ponytail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 636

You deserved it 4 598

I can't take it anymore

By genn - 23/05/2023 18:00

Today, I called into work because I was too tired to keep my eyes open. My boss berated me over the phone, saying I should be more like that other employee who came in with a broken toe. That was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 117

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I felt frisky and went down on my boyfriend, only to come face to face with a tick that had buried itself in his inner thigh. Killed the mood a bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 981

You deserved it 371

Today, I was starting my new job in the city. A man with a torn suit on came up to me and asks me for spare change. In a hurry to catch a taxi, I declined and rushed to catch one. At the office, my boss was late. About an hour later, I found out the man in the suit was my boss. He was attacked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 055

You deserved it 632

Today, my boyfriend said we needed to talk. He called me cruel, cold and heartless and that it’s making him reconsider what kind of future we may have together. All because I hate sappy movies and don’t cry on the scenes where the dogs die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 286

Today, I took my car to dealer because of the loud knocking sound I heard while driving it. Twenty-four hours later, they told me it was fixed. Fifteen minutes after I drove away, the tire flew off my car while I was on the highway. My car is now totaled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 118

You deserved it 644

Today, I was walking down the street to go to the movies, when I got punched in the back of the head. When I turned around, a stranger said, "HAHA! It's punch a random person day!" When I asked him why he chose me, he replied "You're ugly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 160

You deserved it 4 913

Today, my girlfriend discovered subliminal messaging. She thought that whispering, "You want to shave your beard" under her breath while I'm not looking at her, then denying ever saying it, would eventually make me shave my alleged upper-lip hair FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 013

You deserved it 5 742