PastryWiz1999

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At my house
26 years-old
Saturday 16 October 1999
single

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Pastrywiz1999's favorite FMLs

When pranks go wrong

By Anonymous - 12/10/2020 08:01

Today, as punishment for a prank, my girlfriend has banned all forms of sex, kissing, or touching for the foreseeable future. She’s also started stripping as soon as she gets home and walking around in just her thong, or sometimes even completely naked, just to make my suffering worse. FML

agreeclassic 742

vote type 1 2 645

Body shaming ain't cool

By grotesque sexy - 05/10/2020 02:02 - United States - Portland

Today, my boyfriend refused to have sex with me because I have ass acne. The reason I have ass acne is from working out to lose weight. I was trying to lose weight because he wouldn't have sex with me because I was too fat. I can't win. FML

agreeclassic 2 143

vote type 1 568

Rat Race

By mcd - 05/10/2020 08:01 - United Kingdom - Gloucester

Today, at work, a man punched me in the face because he said I took his son's job. He meant both me and his son applied for the same job. He also asked to speak to my boss, because he thinks I "cheated." FML

agreeclassic 1 354

vote type 1 107

How is that fair?

By Henry - this FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I was promoted as an auditor at an insurance company. After finding 9 compliance violations and over $15,000 returned incorrectly, I reported them to my manager. She blamed me for all the mistakes and fired me. These mistakes happened two years before I was employed with the company. FML

agreeclassic 2 756

vote type 1 183

False judgment

By "ThatOneLonelyAsian" - 04/11/2019 18:00

Today, while on a bus to my exam I was holding my bag on my lap and muttering a prayer for good luck, but the driver stopped, got everyone out (except me) and called the cops thinking I was a suicide bomber and when they realized that I wasn't, it was too late to sit the exam. FML

agreeclassic 2 393

vote type 1 371