danivc

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32 years-old
Sunday 25 April 1993
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Danivc's favorite FMLs

Horror movie

By ihatevideos - 16/03/2009 23:08 - United States

Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I put in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediately ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said "Bermuda, 1989." They've told me I was conceived in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML

agreeclassic 194 824

vote type 1 37 514

Directions

By jay-frey96 - 02/11/2014 15:36 - United States - San Diego

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

agreeclassic 45 680

vote type 1 14 038

By Anonymous - 05/10/2014 15:47 - United States - Arlington

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words, "Lisa, will you…" then abruptly shat my pants. FML

agreeclassic 48 241

vote type 1 6 335

By Anonymous - 29/09/2014 19:39 - United States - Derry

Today, on my first day of sailing practice, I managed to sit on a metal cleat. After being admitted to the ER, I was informed that I had two vaginal lacerations that needed surgery. The nurse tried to convince me it was my lucky day, because the hospital café was serving vanilla pudding. FML

agreeclassic 44 497

vote type 1 4 128

By SystemofaBlink41 - 29/09/2014 04:31 - Puerto Rico - Caguas

Today, my mom got genuinely angry at me because I refused to let her pop a zit that I had "promised" she could pop a few days back. She said with utmost look of disappointment that I'm "not a man of my word". FML

agreeclassic 34 350

vote type 1 5 762

SystemofaBlink41 app_comment_confession_title

SystemofaBlink41 27

Sunday 1 March 2015 0:28

No, but I'm not giving her any ideas...