GameRater01

3447

1063

Sacramento, USA
37
Wednesday 13 July 1988

Gamerater01

Gamerater01 -

Gamerater01

clewis531

lovers5201

BettyDowma...

cheeto34

[258121521...

Nightowlfl...

tyhanson

zenox75

super_duck

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Saxicolous

DeanML

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TheTshirt

Gamerater01

OfCourse - 27/06/2009 05:32 - United States

Today, I learned my 40 year old father is marrying a girl barely a year and a half older than me. She told me not to be afraid to call her mom. I was torn between punching her in the face and vomiting. FML

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notinflammable - 27/06/2009 04:41 - United States

Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML

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EmployeeOfTheMonth - 27/06/2009 07:03 - United States

Today, my attractive boss sat me down in the break room to say how much she appreciated how much work I've been doing despite being a temp. She was wearing a skirt, and I couldn't take my eyes off her legs. She then patted me on the leg and said "Good Talk". It wasn't my leg. FML

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LoLLightning - 27/06/2009 07:24 - United States

Today, I went to Burger King. I was sipping the drink and put it on my window sill to save for later. I fell asleep, and when I woke up my mouth was dry. I took a sip and felt something go into my mouth. Thinking it was an ice cube, I bit down on it. It was not an ice cube. It was a cockroach. FML

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LoLLightning

LoLLightning 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 16:52

OP here, okay for all of those who are retarded and have never tried to submit an FML before, you only get 300 characters. Most people can put together that I got my food, went home, and put the drink on my window sill and fell asleep. I wasn't exactly thinking that the ice melted when I was more than half asleep and thirsty. I'm sorry that I can't describe my experience in intricate detail for all the retards that don't understand normal human talk. Thank you very much.

Messenger blues

jake - 27/06/2009 21:11 - Denmark

Today, it's been a few days since I decided to give this girl I like the silent treatment. I've been messaging off and on with her for a few weeks, but decided to stop for a bit, just to seem mysterious. When I logged on Facebook today, her status was, "So happy that annoying guy has stopped writing to me!" FML

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