xMew

Not specified

0
Followed

0
Followers

7
Badges!

15
Comments

617
Visits

38
Favorites

Not specified
Not specified
Not specified

A propos de Xmew

Not specified

Xmew - Followers

Xmew - Followed

Xmew's page visits

lovers5201

MarilynLem...

fl00ded

Welshite

Fucked!

MarilynLem...

Xmew's FML badges

15_badgename

15_badgedesc

52_badgename

52_badgedesc

51_badgename

51_badgedesc

9_badgename

9_badgedesc

13_badgename

13_badgedesc

24_badgename

24_badgedesc

18_badgename

18_badgedesc

45_badgename

45_badgedesc

44_badgename

44_badgedesc

4_badgename

4_badgedesc

14_badgename

14_badgedesc

10_badgename

10_badgedesc

6_badgename

6_badgedesc

5_badgename

5_badgedesc

61_badgename

61_badgedesc

badgeslisttofind

Xmew's favorite FMLs

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

agreeclassic 800

vote type 1 1 943

By Spooprfailed - 08/04/2014 05:32 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

agreeclassic 40 443

vote type 1 65 837

Spooprfailed app_comment_confession_title

Spooprfailed 7

Wednesday 9 April 2014 21:42

Hello folks. Just wanted to clear up a few misconceptions! 1) My girlfriend is both beautiful and very fit. Which is incredibly lucky about me because... 2) We laughed hysterically about it for a while, since it was just such a ridiculous thing to come out of my mouth. The mood WAS ruined for a little while (but not for too long ;) she's THAT awesome), but we've been laughing about it ever since. I am very happy not single (despite my scumbag brain's best efforts). And for anyone who things this reply sounds as if I had a gun to my head and was writing whatever my gf told me to... please call 911

Get on with it

By Anonymous - 07/04/2014 00:20 - Australia - Spearwood

Today, at the café I work at, I was yelled at by a woman because the drinks and food she ordered were "taking too long". Before I had the chance to get a word in, she stormed out and said she would never come back. I didn't get the chance to inform her that she hadn't ordered yet. FML

agreeclassic 48 002

vote type 1 3 558

By =( - 05/04/2014 17:48 - United States - Houston

Today, I had to tell my ex that I'm pregnant with his baby. I sent him a casual "Hey :)" text to try to ease into things. He replied, "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?" and ended up threatening to make my life hell if I don't tell my new boyfriend that the child is his. FML

agreeclassic 46 784

vote type 1 14 439

By Anonymous - 05/04/2014 14:27 - United States - Plymouth

Today, I found out that the squeaking I've heard for the past three months, that I thought was my guinea pig, is actually my girlfriend cheating on me with my older brother. FML

agreeclassic 76 653

vote type 1 7 357