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Saturday 09 January 1988

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teriyaki124 - 21/03/2009 09:13 - United States

Today, I came out to my mom. I had an epic speech planned, and when I tried to tell her, it all fell apart and I started crying and just said, "I'm gay." After a few seconds silence, my mom sighs and says, "Duh." FML

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Hello Zoe

Zoe123 - 19/03/2009 06:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were at his house having sex. After about 30 minutes, his mom came home and started knocking on his door, asking, "What are you doing?" Thinking I might have a chance to sneak out, I got dressed real quiet. Then my boyfriend answered, "Zoe. I'm doing Zoe." FML

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serverdessert - 08/03/2009 21:02 - United States

Today, at the restaurant where I work, I served a table of 4 middle-age women. Before greeting the table, I was deciding between saying "Can I get you anything to drink?" and "Can I start you off with something?" My actual greeting? "Can I get you ladies off?" FML

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Sal - 03/03/2009 18:29 - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she would give me a blowjob. She replied, "you know that won't happen, I'm a vegetarian." FML

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