•
•
•

lexxiasaurus

0

0

28

1

4101

2186

Centennial, Colorado
29
Thursday 05 September 1996

Lexxiasaurus

I like to bite (: I need to laugh at least 20 times a day(: I'm pretty sweet as long as you don't try to piss me off Oh and I love penguins!!!(:

Lexxiasaurus -

Lexxiasaurus -

Lexxiasaurus

YunoNothin...

purplekanc

lovers5201

Insaneward...

Pink_Turni...

NitemareSa...

Nikki

CounselorS...

mourka

mr_pffft

yuno_gasai...

dragonslay...

nellie629

Cali

Lexxiasaurus

Lexxiasaurus

Hope springs eternal

Anonymous - 13/06/2022 10:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend rejected my proposal, claiming she refuses to get married until she finally finds her dad, so he can walk her down the aisle. Babe, he walked out when you were 7 and hasn't been seen or contacted you since. Just say you don't wanna marry me so we can both move on. FML

1 458

180

Alexa, play "Boredom" by Buzzcocks

Sam - 25/04/2022 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was prepared for it to be difficult being a parent, but it's actually super easy. What I wasn't prepared for was just how boring it would be after my husband returned to work and I was left alone. All she does is sleep, so the whole house is scrubbed clean, and I'm climbing the walls from sheer bloody boredom. FML

821

483

Let's goooooo

Anonymous - 25/04/2022 12:00

Today, my 9-year-old son decided honesty is the best policy and to never lie again. And by that, I mean he's decided to go ahead and blurt out every mean comment he can think of. In one school day, he made 6 kids cry, was punched by 4 other kids, was reprimanded by 3 teachers, and was uninvited to a birthday party. FML

1 068

225

Bathroom break

Anonymous - 12/04/2022 22:00

Today, a guy on Tinder matched with me. I reached for my phone so fast, I slipped and broke my nose against the toilet, then when I tried to use the bowl as support to stand up, my hand slipped and I slammed my broken nose right back onto the toilet. Don’t think Mr Tinder is seeing me tonight. FML

850

420

Sounds like a keeper, actually

Anonymous - 16/04/2021 17:30 - United States - Chicago

Today, my roommate walked in on me going down on my girlfriend in our shared living area. She was embarrassed for about 20 seconds, then pushed my head back down and told me to keep going until he comes back. FML

579

1 877