Undead_Hero

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Livermore, united states
29 years-old
Thursday 26 December 1996
single

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Undead_hero's favorite FMLs

By fineididntwantkidsanyway - 02/12/2012 23:39 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, my girlfriend got into the Christmas cheer while giving me a hand job, smashing my nuts with her palm in time to her humming of Jingle Bells. FML

agreeclassic 29 924

vote type 1 4 542

By -___- - 29/09/2013 19:46 - United States - Winfield

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

agreeclassic 68 816

vote type 1 27 705

By anonymous - 09/09/2013 20:16 - United States - Round Rock

Today, my pregnant wife was crying, so I let her sit on my lap so I could comfort her. She quickly started laughing in embarrassment as she peed on my leg. FML

agreeclassic 59 912

vote type 1 6 871

Not now, Yoda

By iwassoclose - 10/04/2013 16:32 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is." Orgasm gone. FML

agreeclassic 55 813

vote type 1 8 816

By dancekat - 08/04/2013 09:17 - United States - Puyallup

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

agreeclassic 47 433

vote type 1 12 051

dancekat app_comment_confession_title

dancekat 7

Monday 8 April 2013 22:32

Hey, OP here, we had a big laugh about it afterwards. He knew I would love the reference. There was only one nick and he was pretty concerned after he made the joke. P.S. I've loved reading all these comments; they're amazing!