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helenablitz - 28/08/2009 06:42 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend of two years has children. Not one, not two, but three. Not with one, two, but three women. FML

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Anonymous - 01/12/2014 17:55 - United States

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

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Arthur - 07/05/2014 19:16 - United States

Today, my neighbor scolded me for "allowing" her son to be bitten by one of my dogs. This would be reasonable, except for the fact that her kid had jumped my fence and tried to steal a rattle out of my daughter's hands. FML

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NoorFML - 19/10/2012 14:37 - United States - Baton Rouge

Today, my mom was feeling down, so I decided to buy her a gift. Knowing she likes lighthouses, I bought her a tiny one that plugs in and lights up. I brought it home, plugged it in, and when she saw me with it, she said, "Wipe that smirk off your face and get that junk out of here." FML

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humbug - 13/05/2012 13:08 - United States - Broomfield

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been paying her half of the rent by taking my ATM card and getting money from my account. FML

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