Shrek1

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Shrek1's favorite FMLs

By beerpong26 - 06/02/2009 19:54 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was about to give me a blowjob. When her lips met my penis, there was a huge static shock. I never got the blowjob, she is still laughing and I have ice on my penis. FML

agreeclassic 51 612

vote type 1 6 890

By not impressed - 09/10/2015 18:27 - Canada - Nanaimo

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML

agreeclassic 32 361

vote type 1 4 617

By lovedoesnotexist - 24/09/2015 11:52 - Belgium

Today, my long-term girlfriend broke up with me because my hair "falls out" and I "will definitely be bald soon", even though it's not that bad. The same girl who I supported through her chemotherapy and gave her promises that I would stay with her no matter how she looked. FML

agreeclassic 37 568

vote type 1 1 985

By Gonzales - 07/08/2015 19:47 - Belgium - Leuven

Today, my girlfriend said she would give my penis a name: Gonzales. I asked why she wanted to name it that, and she said, "Because he's Speedy." FML

agreeclassic 26 781

vote type 1 5 677

By Hollzbananza - 11/07/2015 14:30 - Australia

Today, I realised that my boyfriend gets a boner every time I cry. FML

agreeclassic 32 547

vote type 1 3 812

Hollzbananza app_comment_confession_title

Hollzbananza 15

Monday 13 July 2015 0:22

To answer some of the questions... Firstly, it's not like I cry every day.. we have been together for almost 4 years so he's seen me cry quite a bit over time. It's easy to notice when he's sitting in front of me or hugging me to console me. And if we're all being honest, sometimes it's just obvious that someone has a boner. My initial reaction was to be shocked and angrily ask if he likes to see me in pain but it's kind of hilarious when I'm not actually upset and crying. I agree that I don't think it's because he's trying to take advantage of me. Boners can have a mind of their own, and it could be an intimacy thing I guess since he's caring and always comforts me when I cry. Who knows... Thanks for the laughs, I enjoyed reading the comments :)