tryingNOTtocry

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Tryingnottocry's favorite FMLs

Guess I'm coming out in a Ford Focus

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Australia - West End

Today, as my brother parked in our hotel's parking lot, I told him to be careful because the car wasn't straight. He retorted, "Yeah, just like you". My mother was in the back seat and heard everything. I hadn't come out yet. FML

agreeclassic 23 064

vote type 1 3 178

By Anonymous - 05/02/2016 09:55 - United Kingdom

Today, a long standing fantasy was ruined when the only lasting impression from my first threesome was of how good my boyfriend is at giving other guys a blowjob. FML

agreeclassic 24 638

vote type 1 8 772

By Anonymous - 25/12/2010 06:20 - United States

Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

agreeclassic 34 970

vote type 1 3 645

Judge not lest you be judged, my friend

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was riding my bike and stopped at a street light. A little girl looked at me, then asked her mother, "Mommy, why does that girl have a ring through her nose?" Her mother then replied, "Because her parents don't love her." FML

agreeclassic 72 042

vote type 1 20 000

Who?

By Anonymous - 22/03/2009 17:14 - United States

Today, I heard my boyfriend of 3 months talking with his friend, not knowing I could hear them. "Tonight's the night," my boyfriend says. "I'm finally going to tell her I love her!" I got really excited, deciding i loved him too. Then his friend says, "Awesome! But what about Kayla?" I'm Kayla. FML

agreeclassic 258 084

vote type 1 17 761