Matt - 13/07/2012 19:06 - United States Today, I woke up in a daze after a long night drinking. I felt a subtle nudge on my shoulder. I was at my ex-girlfriend's house, passed out on top of her, with no pants on. Her dad was, in so many words, informing me that I had to leave immediately. FML 13 349 57 845
Woozy Dunzo15 - - United States Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves, so I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview, I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML 202 811 52 156
Fly my beauties Anonymous - - United States Today, my first graders released the butterflies we've been raising. The kids were sad that one had died in his cocoon and wouldn't be set free. Turns out that butterfly may have had a better fate: a flock of birds ate half of the others. Immediately after releasing them. In front of the kids. FML 73 154 5 517
Blown job Noname - 12/03/2009 09:30 - New Zealand Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML 63 973 339 349