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mysterynmayhem

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meridale, ny, united states
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Friday 26 March 1976

Mysterynmayhem

Mysterynmayhem -

Mysterynmayhem -

Mysterynmayhem

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Mysterynmayhem

Mysterynmayhem

....... - 23/06/2009 17:56 - United States

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

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Anonymous - 04/11/2009 21:42 - United States

Today, I drove three and a half hours to surprise my long distance boyfriend for our anniversary. He was out of town. Where was he? Three and a half hours away trying to surprise me. FML

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Anonymous - 04/11/2009 19:02 - Germany

Today, I was at the McDonalds drive-thru getting my morning coffee, when some guy slammed into the back of my car. I'm so happy I was holding the cup between my legs at that very moment, because now I have 2nd degree burns on my lady parts. FML

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Estranged

assdialed. - - United States

Today, I got a phone call from my dad, who I haven't heard from in months. I didn't answer, but he did leave me an accidental voicemail, saying, "Oh shit, I didn't mean to call her." FML

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WAURGH

Anonymous - 03/11/2009 02:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I finally had sex. He sounds like Chewbacca when he comes. FML

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