kittenmeow

Kittenmeow

i love hens, the living creatures not chickens the corpses. ***I'm gonna eat your brain and gain your knowledge. works for zombies but not for chickens....

Kittenmeow -

Kittenmeow

lovers5201

caesarbabe...

Joachim Sa...

thundercro...

Parkourlif...

americanaf...

tonedef456

EvAN_117

Capricious...

sdlr32787

jagma_fml

persiannin...

Kittenmeow

Unexpected

kalazoo21 - 25/08/2009 12:54 - United States

Today, I quit my job that my girlfriend and I worked together at. Fellow employees are not allowed to date one another and I said it would be ok if I was the one to leave. When I got home to her and told her that I quit, she decided to break up with me. I now have no job and no girlfriend. FML

45 248

12 802

Procrastination

Anonymous - 14/10/2009 17:01 - United States

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

98 142

16 744

The trumpet of success

interviewed - 16/09/2009 10:37 - United States

Today, I went to an interview for a job I really wanted and am qualified for. I've been looking for months. This job was perfect; close to home and great pay. Needless to say I spent quite a while preparing. Everything was going great until I had to sneeze, which forced out a loud, long fart. FML

51 053

4 208

Prankster

stillwaiting - - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my boss plays a trick on all the interns. He calls you to his office, then leaves you waiting outside until you get annoyed and leave. Apparently, the old record was 45 minutes. I waited 4 hours. FML

51 202

11 350

Anonymous - 13/09/2009 08:12 - United States

Today, I went out drinking with my friends. At the end of the night I got a cab ride home. I must have passed out because when I woke up I wasn’t at my place, but my parent’s house, which is the address on my license…120 miles away. The fare was $220. FML

15 035

45 618