KoalaBek

2133

109

Milton Keynes, England
35
Tuesday 06 November 1990

Koalabek

I'm a full time professional cynic. If I were an animal I'd be a Binturong. I may be the reincarnation of Martha Stewart. Yes I am aware she's not dead.

Koalabek -

Koalabek

lovers5201

carlahfn

ЗАБЕРИТЕ 1...

Marie1994

BettyDowma...

simonvande...

michaelm12...

minxchi

bigwell

Seashells7...

SpawnofAth...

TSFboy

BettyDowma...

bigwell

Seashells7...

wanted_2_w...

RA91

johnny29

tiger820

gobiteme2

jolaurr

pl0xs3rver

patrickala...

Koalabek

Sensual world

Anonymous - 16/10/2015 15:05 - United Kingdom - Eastleigh

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend about the importance of foreplay, and that attempting to get me "in the mood" by whipping his cock out and air humping was roughly equivalent to throwing a dry teabag at me and claiming he made a cup of tea. FML

30 278

3 024

StillnothowIimaginedmydaygoing - 14/10/2015 16:22 - United States - Radcliff

Today, my boyfriend found out that male goats will stick their tongues out, snort, and garble at female goats in heat. Now he's doing it to me at all manner of times, sound effects and all. I now know why goats ram their heads into things repeatedly. FML

25 193

2 314

not impressed - 09/10/2015 18:27 - Canada - Nanaimo

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML

32 362

4 618

Self-bodyshaming

Anonymous - 01/10/2015 12:16 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, I saw my ex-boyfriend walking down the street in my direction. I've put on a bunch of weight since we broke up, so I turned to look in the nearest shop window, hoping he wouldn't notice. Unfortunately he did see me, looking straight at a KFC. FML

26 443

6 706

con135 - 13/01/2015 01:16 - United States - Farmingdale

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

39 014

10 310

con135

con135 12

Tuesday 13 January 2015 15:38

Needless to say she still makes fun of me for this, when she asks me for something she will say something like,"can you firmly grasp that soda and hand it to me?"