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englishmuffin

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Englishmuffin

I don't know why I chose the name Englishmuffin because it might give the impression that I'm English. Sadly, I am not.

Englishmuffin -

Englishmuffin -

Englishmuffin

lovers5201

higxo0

Brutalmuzi...

[821845167...

CatherineB...

swimr_mel

Nickiminaj...

holymacabr...

Feklfekl22...

TheTshirt

omid379

lil_jimmy

Nickiminaj...

Englishmuffin

Englishmuffin

Anonymous - 25/04/2009 13:51 - United States

Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I started fixing my hair and unbuttoning a couple of buttons on my shirt, hoping the policeman would let me off with a warning. When he got to the car, he rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath. I saw him walk back to the cop car gagging. FML

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Tipped

Nick - - United States

Today, while I was working as a waitress, I had to wait on a table of 13 people. I was struggling through it and when they finally left I went by the table to pick up my tip. Instead of a money I got a napkin saying, "Here's your tip, don't be a waitress." FML

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Old school prank

Anonymous - 09/07/2009 01:34 - United States

Today, my cousin told me that the stop signs outlined with a white line were optional. Later, a cop pulled me over, when I asked why he said, "You ran that stop sign back there." I explained what my cousin had told me and he looked at me funny and replied, "All stop signs have a white outline." FML

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Cool your boots

AmberKCole - - United States

Today, the car in front of me was going slow and I flashed my lights and honked. I floored it and passed the car, flipping off the driver. Just as I went around the next corner, I got pulled over by a motorcycle cop. A few seconds later, the guy I flipped off drove by honked and waved. FML

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Honesty doesn't pay

Hayls5 - 04/07/2009 02:19 - United States

Today, I was driving with a friend when we saw a wallet in the middle of his neighborhood road. When we picked it up, we saw it was loaded with cash. We drove to the man's house to return the wallet, and when we handed it to him he told us, "I would give you a reward but I don't have any cash." FML

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