•
•
•

ALpein

0

0

0

329

3228

669

31
Monday 01 August 1994

Alpein

Why hello. I speak proper English and I'd gladly suggest you do the same.

Alpein -

Alpein -

Alpein

lovers5201

TwoBytesCa...

brbrox

[123961@qq...

jobbaholid...

Hiimhailey...

Maxwellmin...

draftskink

nocturnalb...

tessisue

saxaddict1...

heybro19

TheChelsea...

Alpein

Alpein

Ayy Macarena

fired - 27/06/2012 20:48 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was babysitting a four-year-old girl, when I came across a toy that sang the Macarena. For fun, I decided to teach her the dance. When she showed her parents, instead of putting her hands on her backside and turning, she decided to bend over and moon them. FML

26 238

3 073

Anonymous - 22/05/2012 20:49 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML

39 795

4 546

Anonymous - 19/05/2012 02:35 - United States

Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML

30 523

2 376

Anonymous - 21/05/2012 23:14 - United States

Today, my fiancé and I planned a romantic movie night. Champagne, popcorn, romantic comedy. Then his friend decided to show up and they've been talking about 1st generation Pokémon ever since. FML

472

63

maggierose171 - 19/05/2012 15:08 - United States - Rosendale

Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML

44 362

5 750