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DahkLohd

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Your Mom's, House

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I don't have a nose.

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disappointed - 07/06/2011 17:05 - United States

Today, after spending thousands of dollars and several years pursuing a higher education so I could get a high paying job doing something that requires skill and brainpower, I finally got my first job offer after months of searching. I will be cleaning houses. FML

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meyo555 - 02/06/2011 09:45 - United States

Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML

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veggiepower11028 - 31/05/2011 12:02

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded with, "That's nice. You know what I love? Chicken wings. Let's go get some." Apparently, he doesn't remember I'm a vegetarian either. FML

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Bad omen

weddingblues - 30/05/2011 04:19 - United States

Today, my fiancé informed me he didn't want a regular wedding cake, he wants a Batman cake. I have nothing against this, except that he already decided the wedding theme would be Star Wars. Essentially, I'm marrying a child. FML

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Lifeless

Motionless - 26/05/2011 09:55 - United States

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. This is the seventh time in a row that she hasn't moved or made any noises the entire way through. FML

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