texanengineer

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Norfolk, Va, United States, United States
39 years-old
Sunday 27 April 1986
couple

A propos de Texanengineer

Just a pretty normal guy that likes to laugh at the expense of others because I know people would if the roles were reversed. I love my dog, zombies, and napping

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Fucked!

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Texanengineer's favorite FMLs

Good news!

By CaseyFpC85 - 11/09/2011 15:13 - United States

Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML

agreeclassic 45 481

vote type 1 7 998

Imagine what it would be like

By Anonymous - 07/09/2011 04:30 - United States

Today, I found out my 97-year-old Grandma has an imaginary 30-year-old boyfriend. I laughed until my mom said, "She's still doing better than you. You don't even have an imaginary boyfriend, let alone a real one." FML

agreeclassic 32 195

vote type 1 10 060

Piercing wit

By piercingfreak - 28/08/2011 10:41 - New Zealand

Today, I went in to see my piercer. He took one look at my piercing I got a few months ago and laughed saying "What a shit job, I'm sorry but that's pretty crappy because it's not even straight!" I then had to awkwardly explain it was indeed him who had pierced me. FML

agreeclassic 35 894

vote type 1 4 132

By sydneybourgeois - 13/08/2011 04:06 - United States

Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML

agreeclassic 43 538

vote type 1 16 159

Give it back

By aliixmaee - 09/08/2011 14:50 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me. She took everything, including the kidney I gave her a year ago. FML

agreeclassic 64 061

vote type 1 6 400