Astarael

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Astarael's favorite FMLs

By bundie - 28/12/2008 07:02 - France

Today, my cat didn't quite manage to eat the whole turkey because it was frozen. He just licked it all over. FML

agreeclassic 27 489

vote type 1 5 119

By ihateveganism - 22/08/2012 04:19 - United States - Barrington

Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML

agreeclassic 41 340

vote type 1 10 026

By Anonymous - 12/08/2012 09:23 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was watching a movie alone with my girlfriend. She shifted positions as I put my arm around her, and ended up kneeing me in the crotch and shouldering me in the throat simultaneously. FML

agreeclassic 24 166

vote type 1 2 375

Captain Jack

By Anonymous - 11/08/2012 22:22 - Canada - Airdrie

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

agreeclassic 18 424

vote type 1 43 639

By sozzy - 07/07/2012 07:26 - United States - Aliso Viejo

Today, I went to my regular pharmacist of three months, and since I've always seen him on a crutch, I asked him how his leg was. His response, "Still missing". FML

agreeclassic 27 507

vote type 1 7 025