Garcia512

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in your moms bed!!, USA
30 years-old
Monday 24 July 1995
single

A propos de Garcia512

Hey! My names Joseph I work at schlitterbahn!! Pick up lines make me laugh so hard! If u wanna hear some message me If u wanna tell me some! Go for it Well bye

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Garcia512's favorite FMLs

By Punk - 07/06/2011 20:07 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on for the first time. Just as I was about to climax, I spotted my greatest fear, a big wasp, only a few inches away from me. I shuddered and made a very unmanly orgasm wail. She now refuses to have sex because she says I "turned her off forever". FML

agreeclassic 44 492

vote type 1 11 873

Classy

By Username - 07/06/2011 06:51 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear, "It's not gonna suck itself." FML

agreeclassic 52 013

vote type 1 13 050

By yup - 05/06/2011 07:23 - United States

Today, I thought it would be hot if I sent my boyfriend kinky message. He didn't reply so I sent a few more. 10 minutes later I got a reply saying, "Honey, this is his mom and you should be a little less desperate." FML

agreeclassic 23 218

vote type 1 57 297

By peaaaak - 03/06/2011 10:17 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone, grinned, and chucked it over to me. I glanced at the screen to see a naked woman. He smiled and said "I tapped that last night". FML

agreeclassic 49 240

vote type 1 5 056

By badmom - 10/06/2009 18:09 - Canada

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

agreeclassic 135 021

vote type 1 80 681